Whenever I give myself haircuts I always feel dysphoric afterwards, because I feel like suddenly I can see all the femininity in my face. This was especially bad last year when I cut off a bunch of hair that I had let grow long. Having long hair, despite the dysphoria it gave me, was almost a blanket of comfort because I could push the dysphoria into the background. Doing stuff to affirm my gender identity brings things into sharp focus, and that creates more momentary distress. It's like ripping off a band-aid.