I think I have basically no dysphoria or almost none. Is this common, or does it mean I’m not trans?
My position is kind of simple—I actually enjoy being a dude; it’s pretty rad most of the time. Yet, I like women, desire them, and sometimes I want to be them.
That said, there are some important caveats. I’m completely fine growing old as a man, but I dread the idea of aging as a woman. That might be internalized misogyny, but it is what it is. I also feel like I’m building something in my life, and becoming a trans woman of color (I’m Black) wouldn’t exactly help my goals; it would make everything harder I assume.
On top of that, I’ve recently started to live. I meet people in real life, I have a partner, and I’m learning to cook. For the last 5-7 years, I was a reclusive hermit who mostly went to work and lurked online. I feel like if I want to transition, I should do it within the next year, but it’s all a bit much.
I came out to an online friend as trans about 10 years ago, and they were pretty chill about it, but I walked it back. Fast forward to now—I recently told my partner that I’m thinking about transitioning, and they were very supportive and sweet. However, the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to get cold feet.
I can’t think of many bigger, more impactful decisions than transitioning, aside from becoming a parent or getting drafted into a large war, maybe. I think people who transition are very brave, but at my core, I’ve always been a lazy coward
Any input is welcome. If it matters im also in my mid 30s.
EDIT . Yes I made a somewhat similar thread some time ago...but circumstances change.
If I could push a button that would turn me into a woman, I would push it. I'm okay being a dude, and as I said, I enjoy it most of the time. I'm not unhappy as a dude, if that's the question. That said, I sometimes feel like I would be even happier if I lived as a woman. I guess you could say being a woman would be my true form, my true self. Some people would say that alone makes it worth pursuing transitioning. Basically, I think I would prefer being a woman, but there are some obvious downsides to it, like misogyny and being trans in a society that is moving towards fascism.
My heart says I should transition, but my mind says FUCK NO -don't do it.
I'm aware this might come off as a first-world problem that I even feel like there is a choice.
you would push it even if it mean't growing old as a woman?
I, as a person, don't really look ahead or plan much for the future. There are things I do in the present that I will regret years later. So yes, I would push the button (and then probably bathe in blood to stave off aging or something).
what about aging as a man is so much more appealing than as a woman tho?
Is it just that men have less standards and are under less scrutiny?
I'm actually very comfortable with my looks as a man, and I don't worry about stuff like gray hair or wrinkles. To put it this way, I'm almost certain I'll still enjoy looking at myself in the mirror when I'm 60. As a woman, I would have much higher standards for myself and my looks... like, I'm sure I would need multiple surgeries to live up to my own (admittedly probably unhealthy) standards. Now, the good news: I think I could pull it off and actually look stunning. The bad news is that kind of beauty is fleeting.
Im leaning towards not transitioning. But its not a 100% no. More like a 60-40
Basically as a dude im kind of at peace with myself...but Im aware I could be more.
just kind of hard for me to understand what that is like.
the standards I have for myself are the same regardless, I want to look like/be a woman.
so aging as and presenting as a man would be even worse.
I understand the standards thing kind of, like a boymode a lot because of stuff like that, but idk.
I'm aware people have/can have vastly different experiences. Either way, it was nice talking to you.