not wanting to date trans women stems from y’all not viewing them as “real” women... so yes your “preference” is transphobic.— destiny (@MAM1SHAMPOO) July 1, 2020
If you thought you were a true ally, maybe it's time for some introspection.
I remember in 2013ish tumblr culture it was like, social justice dogma that genital preferences were transphobic, without much room for nuance. And I bought into it, hard, and never had it challenged for years. Then I got into discord servers with a lot of trans people and started noticing that many trans people themselves have genital preferences. Especially common seemed to trans women who strongly preferred dicks, and further in particular transbians who were only interested in dating other trans women. I don't want to go off listing examples because there are a ton of different people with a ton of different aspects to the minutiae of their attraction, but yeah meeting trans people with genital preferences, some stricter than others, made me realize that policing genital preference isn't actually good. Actually my initial reaction when I first started meeting like, transbians who only want to date transwomen who haven't had bottom surgery was to say "isn't that bad because it reinforces the transphobic idea that there's a difference?" But after a while of discussing it and self-examining I realized how problematic that is.
Of course, "I won't date trans people" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with genital preference because trans people might have had bottom surgery. So a, say, straight man categorically dismissing trans women because they're not into dicks doesn't make sense because not all trans women have dicks.
But I kind of wonder what angle the tweet being linked here is coming at it from. Like the specifically mention the word "preference", which makes me wonder if this person is in fact drawing on 2013 tumblr social justice dogma that genital preferences are transphobic. I have no idea, and don't have the energy to read through the replies to see what in particular is going on.
I'm probably not the right person to ask. But I'm pretty sure chaser is actively fetishizing, not just having an orientation (lesbian) and a preference (penises) that combine in this way. Could be wrong though.
"Full transition" is a dumb term. Not all trans people want the same medical procedures and treatments. It a trans woman doesn't want bottom surgery she just... doesn't and lives her life
"Transbian" is "trans lesbian". A trans woman (or non binary person who experiences transmisogyny) who identifies as a lesbian. How am I defaulting to trans women when both the original tweet and the person you're responding to mentioned them first.
The reason people "default" to trans women in these discussions is transmisogyny and this idea that trans women will force you to be with them.
Yeah I can see how that might be a problem for an ongoing relationship that isn't exclusively sexual. Not sure how that would be dealt with. Still don't think genital preferences are necessarily a problem because of it though.
Honestly I imagine if two transbians started dating who hadn't had bottom surgery and then one one of them decided she wanted it I'm pretty sure they wouldn't break up over that or anything. Probably at that point you're emotionally commited and you accept your partner for who they are. Idk tho, shits complicated, and I reiterate that I'm probably not the person to answer this question as a dang cisgender.
I remember in 2013ish tumblr culture it was like, social justice dogma that genital preferences were transphobic, without much room for nuance. And I bought into it, hard, and never had it challenged for years. Then I got into discord servers with a lot of trans people and started noticing that many trans people themselves have genital preferences. Especially common seemed to trans women who strongly preferred dicks, and further in particular transbians who were only interested in dating other trans women. I don't want to go off listing examples because there are a ton of different people with a ton of different aspects to the minutiae of their attraction, but yeah meeting trans people with genital preferences, some stricter than others, made me realize that policing genital preference isn't actually good. Actually my initial reaction when I first started meeting like, transbians who only want to date transwomen who haven't had bottom surgery was to say "isn't that bad because it reinforces the transphobic idea that there's a difference?" But after a while of discussing it and self-examining I realized how problematic that is.
Of course, "I won't date trans people" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with genital preference because trans people might have had bottom surgery. So a, say, straight man categorically dismissing trans women because they're not into dicks doesn't make sense because not all trans women have dicks.
But I kind of wonder what angle the tweet being linked here is coming at it from. Like the specifically mention the word "preference", which makes me wonder if this person is in fact drawing on 2013 tumblr social justice dogma that genital preferences are transphobic. I have no idea, and don't have the energy to read through the replies to see what in particular is going on.
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I'm probably not the right person to ask. But I'm pretty sure chaser is actively fetishizing, not just having an orientation (lesbian) and a preference (penises) that combine in this way. Could be wrong though.
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"Full transition" is a dumb term. Not all trans people want the same medical procedures and treatments. It a trans woman doesn't want bottom surgery she just... doesn't and lives her life
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"Transbian" is "trans lesbian". A trans woman (or non binary person who experiences transmisogyny) who identifies as a lesbian. How am I defaulting to trans women when both the original tweet and the person you're responding to mentioned them first.
The reason people "default" to trans women in these discussions is transmisogyny and this idea that trans women will force you to be with them.
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Yeah I can see how that might be a problem for an ongoing relationship that isn't exclusively sexual. Not sure how that would be dealt with. Still don't think genital preferences are necessarily a problem because of it though.
Honestly I imagine if two transbians started dating who hadn't had bottom surgery and then one one of them decided she wanted it I'm pretty sure they wouldn't break up over that or anything. Probably at that point you're emotionally commited and you accept your partner for who they are. Idk tho, shits complicated, and I reiterate that I'm probably not the person to answer this question as a dang cisgender.