1,000 feral dogs will be released to deal with the feral cat problem, then 1,000 feral gorillas after that to deal with the feral dog problem
That's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
Oh god oh fuck a kindly old grandma has been knitting sweaters for the 1,000 gorillas
1000 feral catboys released onto Chicago streets, Nick Fuentes sadly unavailable for comment
Legit question for Chicago Americans – How do I kill the 300-500 feral cats that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?
you don't, you feed them and shelter them and become a 300-5,000 cat person in a matter of a decade
just photoshop puss in boots head on the cats and post to !shrekland@hexbear.net
There's a really good book about the history of the relationship between urban environments and rats by journalist Robert Sullivan. My favorite anecdote was an interview with an exterminator that worked in New York. He was dealing with a rat infestation in a building in Queens. The landlady had insisted over and over that she wanted to get cats to control the infestation. The exterminator said absolutely do not do that. Against his advice, she gets two cats for the building. Two weeks later, the exterminator returns to the building the rats are still there and there's two cat skeletons in the basement. City rats do not fuck around.
I see absolutely no way that this could possibly go wrong.
Funnily enough, I think they got this idea from a small brewery on the north side that made it into national news for having a few resident "warehouse cats" ; and with 0 critical analysis whatsoever the city said "What if we just, did this like... everywhere?"
Edit: also I guarantee you 30% of those cats will be hit by cars before the summer's over.
That's what I thought was so funny seeing the brewery in the news before
"Oh, you're telling me cats are good to keep around your warehouse because it keeps rats away? Such a novel idea, why hadn't anyone thought about that before this?!?"
American journalism “history is what happened yesterday” disease reaching new heights :shrek-pixel-despair:
Yeah lol people have been doing this forever. Ships too used to have (and still do sometimes) cats on board for the same reason. Also my father grew up in a rural area back in the 50s-60s when there wasn't even electricity in these areas and people did that all the time since they didn't have poison for pests or cheap but sophisticated traps etc. They also left non-venomous snakes the name of which literally translated to "tree cats" roam around in storage areas for the same reason.
I'm fully expecting someone to write a story soon about how "man discovers fermenting grape paste has alcohol-like effects".
I imagine snakes would be much better for this, considering cats can carry unwanted contaminates in their fur.
Too bad snakes have so much EEEEK! factor for many people
Nah I think snakes would be super terrible in a city lol I don't think they'd survive very long...
Oh very true, I was strictly thinking about like in a warehouse.
Chicago weather would absolutely wreck any snake friends without a warm burrow. :(
No, it's an old idea and it kinda works, sometimes. Kinda. In some aspects. It makes some other things worse however. It works better for warehouses and ships where it is actually incredibly useful.
Bro, "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" was written specifically to advise against this.
