Joaquin Phoenix gives the absolute worst performance of his career as Napoleon Buonaparte, choosing to portray one of history’s most famously charismatic leaders, as a wooden cutout. No movie these days would be complete without Reddit/Marvel-tier quipped dialogue, and this screenplay provides it in spades. Many of the events that would naturally adapt to the big screen are skipped in favor of shots of Phoenix crawling under tables like some fucked up dog. No mention is made of Italy, and Spain and Haiti are skipped over as to avoid portraying the subject in any kind of negative light. Irresponsible and reactionary filmmaking shines through in a script that truly feels like it was written by chatgpt. The film concludes with him suddenly dying in a part that reminded me of the poochy “my planet needs me” bit. Do not waste your time. I was expecting a cheesy Hollywood retelling and it didn’t even do that, despite having more than enough source material to do so.

  • YuccaMan [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Seriously, reading Andrew Roberts' biography of him, I came away thinking Napoleon had genuinely lost his mind when I read his writings from the period. It's been a while, but I recall that he harbored fevered fantasies of going rogue and installing himself as some kind of latter day pharoah or caliph in Egypt and creating some grand new society in his image. A movie about the Egyptian campaign would be entertaining as fuck.

    • Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Great concept. That is a movie I'd watch. One man's descent into megalomania, maybe foreshadowing his eventual seizing of power and turning his laurel crown into an imperial one.

      • YuccaMan [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        Right? There's so much untapped entertainment value with Napoleon, but all that anyone seems to want to do is Waterloo, Russia, and Austerlitz

      • MaoTheLawn [any, any]
        ·
        1 year ago

        like Aguirre, Wrath of God by Werner Herzog

        the proof of concept is there

    • GarbageShoot [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      But think of an alt history film where he actually does it and it goes to shit

      • YuccaMan [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        We need more counterfactual history movies in this world, and I'd watch the hell out of that one