Inspired by this morbidly fascinating National Review article.
In keeping with the spirit of the original article, I reserve the right to clip single lines or portions of lines out of context and entirely ignore the rest of the song, the rest of the artist's discography, and the artist's stated beliefs. I'll interpret any song you send, with the only stipulation being that it must have lyrics that I can find online.
You fought for Stalin, I fought for freedom
Correctly identifies that communism is incompatible with freedom
You believe in authority, I believe in myself
Celebrates the rugged individualism that is a cornerstone of conservative values
That National Review article needs to come with a psychic damage warning jesus fucking Christ. Felt my soul leave my body on a few of those only to be violently ripped back.
Oh god you're right it gave me critical damage.
"Heroes", by David Bowie
A Cold War love song about a man and a woman divided by the Berlin Wall. No moral equivalence here: “I can remember / Standing / By the wall / And the guns / Shot above our heads / And we kissed / As though nothing could fall / And the shame / Was on the other side / Oh we can beat them / For ever and ever.”
THE LYRIC YOU CITED LITERALLY DOES AN EQUIVALENCE YOU MORON IT DOESN'T SAY WHAT YOU THINK IT SAYS
“Janie’s Got a Gun,” by Aerosmith.
How the right to bear arms can protect women from sexual predators: “What did her daddy do? / It’s Janie’s last I.O.U. / She had to take him down easy / And put a bullet in his brain / She said ’cause nobody believes me / The man was such a sleaze / He ain’t never gonna be the same.”
The irony of an Aerosmith song being about protecting women from sexual predators is obviously lost on him.
- “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” by Iron Maiden.
A heavy-metal classic inspired by a literary classic. How many other rock songs quote directly from Samuel Taylor Coleridge?
I... What? How is this conservative song? Because old books = conservative? I don't get what is going on in his headspace.
- “Godzilla,” by Blue öyster Cult.
A 1977 classic about a big green monster — and more: “History shows again and again / How nature points up the folly of men.”
???
- “Obvious Song,” by Joe Jackson.
For property rights and economic development, and against liberal hypocrisy: “There was a man in the jungle / Trying to make ends meet / Found himself one day with an axe in his hand / When a voice said ‘Buddy can you spare that tree / We gotta save the world — starting with your land’ / It was a rock ’n’ roll millionaire from the USA / Doing three to the gallon in a big white car / And he sang and he sang ’til he polluted the air / And he blew a lot of smoke from a Cuban cigar.”
HOW IS THIS A CONSERVATIVE SONG WHAT THE FUCK DID HE EVEN READ THE LYRICS HE CITED OR THE REST OF THE LYRICS???
There was a kid in the city selling crack to get by Got caught one day with a gun in his hand When a voice said, "Okay, get 'em up in the air You're too young to live like this But you ain't too fast to die." Just another foot-soldier in a stupid little war Another sound-bite on the American scene Caught between the supplier only dreaming of money And the demand of the man with money Who needs a little help to dream
So we starve all the teachers And recruit more Marines How come we don't even know what that means It's obvious
YEAH SOUNDS LIKE A VERY CONSERVATIVE SONG TO ME
I was triggered by the Iron Maiden one...famously anti-Thatcher Iron Maiden made a conservative song because they used a poetic ballad for a song? Fuck off.
Broke as fuck, eatin' lentils with no utensil
At the heart of all communist sentiment is envy of the rich. This person should stop being jealous and get a small loan from his parents to start a Jetski dealership
I only got into them because you guys kept posting "5,000,000 Ways" and "The Guillotine." lol
It's a song about how much liberals suck, a message any conservative can get behind
"I let him taste it, now he diabetic"
The song, while appearing at first to be a celebration of sex, reveals its true message as a stealthy warning about the dangers of rampant sexuality with this easily overlooked lyric
"Producers, let us save ourselves" "The state represses and the law cheats / The tax bleeds the unfortunate"
The millionaire business tycoons, who produce all of the value, need to stand up against big government that steals their money and gives it to the useless poors
Some folks are born made to wave the flag
They're red, white and blue
Speaks for itself
There's no escape, I can't wait
I need a hit, baby, give me it
You're dangerous, I'm loving it
A woman needs a real man who will take charge and put her in her place, unlike these modern PC soyboys
"Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet"
This song succinctly articulates right-wing views on LGBT people
This song's very name encourages sexual congress with law enforcement officers, in direct opposition to the anti-police intimacy propaganda that is the 40% statistic
We grew our army in battles,
We'll sweep the vile invaders off the road!
In battles we decide the fate of generations,
We will lead our Fatherland to glory!
Celebrating ARE TROOPS
Lol, anything by Rammstein.
IRL Rammstein: "uhh, 5 out of 6 of us were born in the DDR and we're on the left"Amerika: a celebration of America, especially its cultural icon Coca Cola, which the song calls "Wunderbar"
Ah, too easy, forgot about that one. It does really fit the theme here though.
I mean, it isn't any more shocking than about a fourth to half of the songs of every album.
Not for the shock value, I just want to see how they'd explain that a song about fucking a dude actually expresses conservative values.
Esp if they use the concert footage.
<Till pulls out big, cumming dildo to simulate sex with Flake; fake cums on front rows of audience>
Local mayor: "Yeaah, you're banned from this city/county"
When I'm working, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
Extols the virtue of families having a male breadwinner
