Don't ask people here lol
Definitely not on reddit either. Ask real life friends and if you don't have real life friends then do that first before pursuing other types of relationships.
Context. If I don't know them and they're creeping on me it puts me in a weird position as I don't know them or how they'll react if I say no.
If I do know them, but feel uncomfortable, that should be obvious as I will nervously laugh a lot and try to change the subject/end the conversation. I find a lot of guys don't understand/ won't accept this which is never fun, to put it mildly.
If we know each other and I act creepy back then you know it's cool.
Basically, if people seem uncomfortable, stop. If they tell you to stop, stop. It's pretty simple most of the time. But then again human communication can be complicated.
Wait, so that time that you barfed up a half-digested mouse in front of me while maintaining eye contact, you were flirting?
It's annoying if you get drunk and start trying to get me to kiss you and being very persistent on that or maybe if you're not drunk but you keep finding reasons to give me long drawn out hugs in the pretense of friendliness. Or alternatively if you don't know me and just see me somewhere like the bus and keep trying to get my number. Creepy to me is intimidating, like if I reject you and you find out where I work and you keep showing up to my workplace by the time I leave trying to "hang out" and I need to find some people to leave with me so I'm not alone with you. If you know me and you want to demonstrate interest it's fine.
I will say something a little controversial here and suggest for your own sake that you don't look for relationship advice on this site.
I will say something a little controversial here and suggest for your own sake that you don’t look for relationship advice on this site.
I don't think that's controversial at all
The reason I said that is probably not the same as the reason why others here might say that.
you responded to my comment but deleted it lol what did you say? i said that people on here are kinda lame, which is why
In a way, yeah. What I wanted to say is that people here and on similar sites have some unusual notions of interpersonal relationships that have a lot to do with internet social justice culture, but which don't correspond to real life for most people, but I said it in a more politically incorrect way that might have caused people to give me a hard time, so I deleted it. There was a time in this site where people were getting banned literally just for downvoting posts made by trans people, so you never know.
yeah lol agreed. its weird to view that stuff through a rightwing/leftwing lense and this might sound a little harsh but its always sort of funny when guys talk about their own loneliness and then say "not to sound like a redpill/incel type" when honestly they could probably learn a thing or two from the weird red pill types in terms of getting their shit together/ taking the lead when it comes to dating
lmao i didnt know that part about downvoting posts thats funny. what was the politically incorrect way now i wanna hear it
I don't remember exactly what I said, but the thing that made me delete it was that I called people soy lol. Wasn't trying to pick a fight or anything, but that's the only word I know that effortlessly describes people like that, and I couldn't think of a way to express what I wanted to say without using that word.
yea lmfao thats p much it, id use "reddit" but thatd feel kinda weird considering where we are rn. idk how to say it but the redpill types are the last people who need to learn about any of that shit while people on here (or wherever) could afford to sorta sack up now and then. idk if that makes sense- not to say i agree w redpill stuff in general
edit: the word wormy came to mind but idk if thats too harsh
i actually have a theory about this. like recently i see these prompts on twitter about approaching a girl at the grocery store, and all of the well meaning simp types say thats creepy id never do that, but in real life shit like that doesnt matter at all. and when guys ask for advice women will tell them to never approach a woman in public, because they assume they're creeps. so they go on being shy and resentful
sorry if this was out of nowhere/insane id like to hear your thoughs
If this was someone like me or people I know, I would say I think this strategy is unlikely to work and it would be better if they went somewhere else to do this, preferably either with people they have some social connection to or in an environment where people go to have fun.
I will say something a little controversial here and suggest for your own sake that you don’t look for relationship advice on this site.
Not controversial lol
I am gay, so any intimation from a man is uncomfortable for me to experience. But it gets upsetting when they ignore my response entirely and assume they just need to try harder. This type of guy doesn't ever come right out and say he's wanting to fuck me so I can't do much about it without looking like a bitch for assuming. If I respond to your initial compliment by making a face of disgust or discomfort, excusing myself from the conversation, mentioning an LGBT event I'm involved in, saying verbally "That's weird" - or really by doing anything other than actively reciprocating with flirting of my own, then stop. Wait to see something before you just plow ahead. Flirting is meant to be a two-way exchange, not an assault on a passive woman.
Social context and personal intimacy? If it's inappropriate for the environment or we just plain dont know each other?
I'm assuming the latter, in which case I typically (in general not specifically flirting) try to complement people on aesthetic choices, e.g. how they do their nails, their jewelry, complement their choice of hair color or the way it's cut/styled.
I believe Aleph was phrasing her answer as a question, with the first part being how she judges and the second part being examples of creepy behavior.
Yeah sorry for the ambiguity, "the line" would be the social context and personal intimacy I guess.
Depends on environment. If someone's playing eyeball tennis with you in a bar then you're fairly clear to go over and introduce yourself. Just don't be overbearing and don't hang around for long.
i mean, im a bit unique in that i like initiating all romantic stuff (due to prior bad experiences), so basically just any time im not initiating it i find it creepy. like i just straight up asked my current bf if he wanted to cuddle and go on dates. i dont fuck around, and a lot of nice guys ™ are clueless and need it drawn out for them
in general its gonna vary woman to woman, if youre asking for the purpose of asking someone out give us tha deets
Not asking anyone out, but with quarantine lifting in my area soon, I figured it was the right time to ask.
Like others have said, it's the not-taking-no-for-an-answer bit. I'm gay as hell and it can be a little awkward to get asked out by dudes, but it's generally not uncomfortable or creepy until they keep trying.
Also the lack of awareness that someone's uncomfortable or not into the situation.
obligatory Chapo/reddit not a woman disclaimer.
Just be interesting rather than sexual. If the convo flows well then ask for their Instagram or phone number.
If they give it to you it's a good sign, but they could also be doing it to get you to fuck off. Whether they say yes or no, give them some space anyway.
Message them some other time and ask to go out with them to something that's obviously a date.
