Never say these 5 phrases to your kids, says psychologist—here's why
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archived 6 Jul 2021 12:54:59 UTC

Seriously...as a parent I feel like I'm constantly stressed out on finding the right words and approaches to reinforce the right things but sometimes articles from "the experts":

https://archive.is/yP0yu

Just make me seethe with contempt for how out of touch and frankly awful some parenting gurus are.

Its not all bad to be fair. I agree with number 2 and teaching kids how to recognize their own emotions and think empathetically but then there's shit like number 3:

Furthermore, complaining about your job around your kids teaches them that work isn’t fun. As a result, they may grow up believing that adulthood is about spending half of your waking hours in complete misery.

Oh, well we can't have that can we? Oh no junior, I swear daddy definitely loves clocking in at 6am and answering emails and crunching numbers rather then going outside to play basketball with you or build that new lego set. What, you're grown up now and you hate your job and the way it makes you feel incredibly alienated in a way you never could have imagined? You just need to work on your attitude! Fuck that noise!

Even number 4, which I agree is good in practice, is arrived at for the wrong reasons. Its not about teaching kids some nonsense about being the sole arbiter and decision maker in charge of your life. Its about reinforcing the responsibilities and obligations you have to one another, whether that's doing work or going to help grandma get some things down from the attic, or getting groceries for the week at the store.

In a few years I genuinely hope we evolve to the point of realizing that teaching our children neoliberal mindset is its own form of abuse.

    • Ericthescruffy [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Its an exercise to teach kids not to ask mommy/daddy for money because it doesn’t grow on trees and you’ll never save enough of your own because you are a kid with no market value.

      In fact even when its represented fictionally I feel like that's usually how its framed also. Like: it could be a made up memory but I swear there's an episode of the Simpsons where Bart opens a lemonade stand to raise money for a game/comic or something and manages to make like $1.25 for the entire day and then Lisa adds insult to injury that the cost of a bag of lemons is actually $2.00 which actually puts him in the red.

      Like eventually they wind up raising money for the thing somehow but even in generally pro capitalist fiction the moral of the lemonade stand trope is essentially that earning money is actually really really really goddamn hard. Like way harder then you imagine as a kid. The idea of it being a practical application for kids to actually earn some spending money is just delusional nonsense.

      • Itsmorning [none/use name]
        ·
        3 years ago

        It's to get the kids to shut up to Mom & Dad about buying them things. You know how hard it is to make money, sweetie? Remember when you had a lemonade stand? Well Mom & Dad have to do that all day, every day, so STFU that we're not buying you those $250 Nikes that all kids have these days.

      • abc [he/him, comrade/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        In fact even when its represented fictionally I feel like that’s usually how its framed also. Like: it could be a made up memory but I swear there’s an episode of the Simpsons where Bart opens a lemonade stand to raise money for a game/comic or something and manages to make like $1.25 for the entire day and then Lisa adds insult to injury that the cost of a bag of lemons is actually $2.00 which actually puts him in the red.

        Lol the joke in the episode is actually about vendors licenses - which is a bit more on the nose given how many minority kids are harassed by middle aged white women via the same process lol