Welcome to the polyamory community on Hexbear! Please stand by as we figure things out.

If you have ideas on things we can do to build engagement in the community, help provide a framework for safety in the community, or any other ideas that you think would contribute positively to the community, please post them here so we can get things going and ensure that this community is a healthy and postive one for everyone. Thank you! hexbear-polyam

  • Infamousblt [any]
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    11 months ago

    Some ideas I had, for starters:

    • Weekly polyamory stories thread, for folks to come and share stories, ask for advice, etc
    • Weekly polyamory questions thread, for folks to come and ask questions about polyamory, mostly to keep that sort of thing out of other places so that folks can just hang out and not feel like we're in a zoo
    • Asking people to refer to polyamory in shorthand as "polyam" instead of "poly", mostly because "poly" is ambiguous but "polyam" is not. The Real Life communites I'm in all prefer "polyam" for this reason. Curious if this is just my local community or if others have thought this through as well
    • No unicorn hunting. Don't even think about it. Don't even consider it. Get outta here ewie ew

    Anyway hopefully we can build this community together!

    • Ideology [she/her]
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      11 months ago

      No unicorn hunting. Don't even think about it. Don't even consider it.

      Show

      We saw you from across the room and liked your vibe

      • Infamousblt [any]
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        11 months ago

        Unicorn hunters, we will take your liver. This isn't a threat. It's a promise ralsei-devious

    • bigboopballs [he/him]
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      11 months ago

      Asking people to refer to polyamory in shorthand as "polyam" instead of "poly", mostly because "poly" is ambiguous but "polyam" is not.

      how is it ambiguous?

      • TankieCatgirl [she/her, comrade/them]
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        11 months ago

        Because poly can also refer to Polynesian, but I've also heard from a Polynesian friend that they don't actually care and it's just white people making up things to be offended about on PoC people's behalf, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        • Infamousblt [any]
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          11 months ago

          Yep this basically. I'm a anti-cracker-aktion and it's one of those things that its easier to err on the side of trying to be less ambiguous because I have heard it both ways, that we're being colonialist imperialists pigs for saying "poly" when we mean polyamorous, and also that nobody cares and we're being ridiculous and making up problems that don't exist by trying to disambiguate. Part of trying to listen to the needs of other communities and trying to do better. I definitely don't have the right answer so it's an interesting topic.

          For me its an easy change to make and if it reduces harm for someone, anyone, anywhere, then it's a change worth doing. If the Polynesian community at large comes out and says someday like "hey polyam people we'd love to share "poly" with you" then okay I guess that's fine. Until that thing that won't ever happen happens I'm happy to push for polyam.

          • xj9 [they/them, she/her]
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            edit-2
            11 months ago

            well for one, its not like "polynesia" is a term that was created by the locals. all of the pasifika folks that i know identify with their specific ethnicity, not the western regional term. i do think polyam is less ambiguous for what its worth.

  • TheDialectic [none/use name]
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    11 months ago

    I am so excited for our inevitable struggle session where we point out monogamy is part of white supremacy

    • Infamousblt [any]
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      11 months ago

      party-sicko shh don't tell Hexbear they need to smash traditional relationship styles

  • milistanaccount09 [she/her]
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    11 months ago

    Honestly I had been operating under the vibe that anti cishet aktion was a sufficient space for polyamory posting but I can definetly do it here sicko-fem

    • Infamousblt [any]
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      11 months ago

      Probably lots of safe spaces here for polyam posting, but now we have one more party-sicko

  • Moss [they/them]
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    11 months ago

    You know in theory I would love to be polyamorous but I can't manage to get one partner, let alone two or more

    • TheDialectic [none/use name]
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      edit-2
      11 months ago

      In theory it is easier to be poly. Since no partner had to be your one and only life mate you don't have to be as strict about finding a high percentage match. I have had partners that I could not have had a monogamous relationship with. However in a lower intensity setting were healthy and fun situations in their own way

      • bigboopballs [he/him]
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        11 months ago

        In theory it is easier to be poly. Since no partner had to be your one and only life mate you don't have to be as strict about finding a high percentage match. I have had partners that I could not have had a monogamous relationship with. However it they were healthy and fun situations in their own way

        I thinking I could be cool with this. However I am struggling with the inability to get even 1 date problem like the parent poster.

        • TheDialectic [none/use name]
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          11 months ago

          Yeah, I don't know the specifics but I feel like alot of people are complaining about this alot more just recently. There are the usual sources of societal alienation bit I think there was just recently another shift to make things even worse.

          • bigboopballs [he/him]
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            11 months ago

            I think there was just recently another shift to make things even worse.

            you mean something besides covid pandemic?

  • bubbalu [they/them]
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    11 months ago

    Strongly in favor of using this as a space for abstract discussion and personal problem-solving/journalposting. I don't think it would be safe or look good for this to act as a personal for e-dating.

  • Venus [she/her]
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    11 months ago

    I'm calling you out, you can't handle the interpersonal complexities of a romantic relationship involving more than 2 people. Go on, prove me wrong

  • Abracadaniel [he/him]
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    11 months ago

    folks, my girlfriend has a girlfriend and she's so great I love her.

  • bigboopballs [he/him]
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    11 months ago

    I wish to engage in amory some day. Any kind of amory, I don't care what kind.

  • SoloboiNanook [comrade/them]
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    11 months ago

    Weirdly relevant comm for me lol.

    Been in a poly relationship for a while. Weird shit tbh but hey it's been working out. Poly is social dynamic on fuckin hard mode

  • Cromalin [she/her]
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    edit-2
    11 months ago

    not 100% sure about what this comm will look like but i'll join, why not. nice to talk to other people about this stuff sometimes

    though i definitely won't be posting much here, because that would quickly get way more into my own relationships than i feel comfortable with sharing

    • Infamousblt [any]
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      11 months ago

      Me either! Feel free to suggest ideas and help shape it with us!