I met some long time friends for pizza and beer tonight and i thought it was a fun night but right before we parted ways the two of them held an intervention with me. They said i was bringing up "socialist stuff" too much and it was making them depressed. They said to keep the conversation exclusively to things like games and anime. That if i didnt stop they didnt want to be friends anymore. Have you guys/gals/nonbinary pals experienced something like this before?
ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.
I'm vegan and a tankie, so I'm destined to be alone forever.
Edit: sorry to be so direct, but I'm fucking drunk. People don't like to feel wrong about stuff. Cognitive dissonance is, sadly, a real fucking thing. Even just being a person with higher ideals threatens then greatly. I don't need to talk about communism or animal suffering. Just me being in the same room puts as libs makes them super uncomfortable.
no bro, preach. im dying for an IRL person to talk to about this shit with, but my partner is already vegan, getting him deeper into leftism is going to feel like yet another set of shackles on mental health.
I'd say, play the long game and don't expect him to be reading Mao tomorrow. His workplace is the best educator and will do the heavy lifting for you. As long as he's an actual worker and he's not doing anything PMC-ish, he's going to see first hand how he's being exploited. He's going to see how fucking shit management and owners are.
My partner was pretty centrist at first. I didn't push it or anything, just talked how terrible my boss is and how fucked up the rich are. Movies at home are more socialist, like Boon Joon-ho. Six years later, and she's wishing that Stalin was back.
Honestly veganism is harder, as there's no direct connection with our lives. So you got the tougher part down.
BTW you're welcome to DM me.
hahah yeah
it's wild how much being vegan is stigmatized. I've literally never asked my family to go vegan, just simply explained my reasons or fired back at misinformation when they bring them up first, and i stopped getting invited to family events. i guess it's easier to leave out a family member than find a vegan alternative and feel judged, i guess.
WTF, your family stopped inviting you. That's messed up. I think there's other things going on with them. I'm sorry for you.
They won't admit to anything going on, and won't even admit to it being about veganism despite this only happening after i became vegan and them still making defensive or snide comments about vegans sometimes lol. Fucking sucks because they're also decently left, so you'd think they could at least be chill, but nah they went straight into reactionary defensive territory and now posting memes about how avoiding plastic use isn't worth it because bezos generates more pollution or whatever. Which might be true but avoiding single use-plastics is still a good thing to do???
Also, all their grocery stores nearby (less than 3 min drive) have tofu for cheaper than animal products, and a few other fully vegan alt products including plant milks and of course, the classic beans and rice. They also know how to cook, have a fully stocked kitchen, and like to experiment with new recipes. I have observed them making several vegan recipes without realizing, such as stuff with beans or spaghetti & marinara, fried bread. So they could easily choose to prepare me (if not everyone) a vegan meal and invite me to any of these events again. They have not. I think they keep waiting me to stop being vegan someday but it's been 6 years at this point and i'm still healthier than ever and more committed to animal rights than ever so....
What hurts most of all isn't the being silently pushed out, it's that people i thought were cool suddenly acting like shitstains. I have a other non-vegan friends who don't act like this, we just kinda don't talk about it except making sure i have food to eat. Which honestly at this point i'm grateful for. But yeah I just didn't expect my family to be the ones who were acting shitty.
So the number one most anti vegan person in my life is my brother. When my mum told me that he tried to go vegan cold turkey in his teens but couldn't, everything came together. He couldn't deal with him not being able to go vegan. Honestly I couldn't care less, and I'd love to support him. But sibling rivalry is a thing.
People enjoy their food a lot, and it pains them to give it up. This isn't your fault.
Anyhow, your actual fucking family not inviting you over is nuts. Honestly I'd connect and tell them your feelings. It's seriously terrible what they're doing.
Anyhow, thanks for doing what you're doing for the animals :avoheart:
Aww thanks for being so nice. Yeah, i tried to talk to them and they denied it and then acted like i was a being a problem for bringing up not being invited. One of them actually said i was treating him like a "punching bag" for bringing it up. lol so yeah i basically cut off most contact after that because holy fuck, and my mental health improved dramatically.
That sounds super problematic. The gaslighting is huge here. People with low emotionally maturity get super defensive when you try to talk about stuff. Honestly, the fucked up thing is that he probably convinced himself that he is the victim here.
I don't know what your family dynamic is, but it's obviously unhealthy. Maybe you'll start to figure shit out as you progress through life. Honestly I don't talk to my family at all, I don't recommend it but it works well for my mental health.
setting boundaries has worked at least somewhat thankfully. Thanks for your kind words <3
yep they act all attacked and get defensive about their morality and it's just like bruh that's not me that's your inner guilt you haven't fully justified yet. Once a radlib tried to claim that it's imperialist to be vegan when I casually brought up I don't eat meat which was pretty rich coming from a proud Biden voter lmao.