Sex positivity was initially fought against by the dominating patriarchal assholes that wanted to control women. They eventually learned however that sex positivity benefits them and they changed their behaviour in order to exploit it.
Now everyone in my gender has experienced some rapey asshole using sex positivity as an excuse for their behaviour, and accusing anyone of rejecting their advances of prudish conservatism. "That's not very progressive of you" being a line I have specifically heard from someone who would not leave me the fuck alone.
When people have held personal experiences with sex positivity being weaponised by the very people they feel oppressed by of course it ceases to feel liberating. They have experienced it as a tool of control, coercion and sexual pressure to perform for these men.
Counter revolution against sex positivity is an obvious natural result of these experiences. If you experience something negative attached to something, you become negative about it.
Now everyone in my gender has experienced some rapey asshole using sex positivity as an excuse for their behaviour, and accusing anyone of rejecting their advances of prudish conservatism. “That’s not very progressive of you” being a line I have specifically heard from someone who would not leave me the fuck alone.
This has happened some with "kink culture" too, almost any woman can tell you about some man she started dating just suddenly trying to choke/insult/spit during sex without any warning.
And there's a real big issue with "Doms" who really are just abusive and controlling men who want a 1950's sex slave, not just some roleplay.
man she started dating just suddenly trying to choke/insult/spit during sex without any warning
Too many times. If you don't get consent for your kinks before doing them to someone, then what you did wasn't consensual. It's waaaay better to get consent before the pants come off in case that is a trigger for your partner. I've had men ask "can I choke you?" mid thrust and been able to enthusiastically say yes, but I'm also like that and told them that was cool earlier.
Like it's good to be open minded, but to have an open mind someone has to fucking talk to you first.
Also during sex kind of blurs lines of consent. A stronger bigger man has you naked and vulnerable. The idea that a real consent can exist in a situation like this is pretty weak. Sexual boundaries should be done in a fair safe and neutral location where all members feel they are fully free to leave without any possibility of backlash or violence.
Elsewise you risk issues with people saying yes, but only because they don't want you to go even further past that.
Yeah, I agree. I hesitated about including that even though I told him we could both ask as we went. I also already trusted him. It probably isn't a good idea for most women.
I think this goes entirely the wrong direction.
Sex positivity was initially fought against by the dominating patriarchal assholes that wanted to control women. They eventually learned however that sex positivity benefits them and they changed their behaviour in order to exploit it.
Now everyone in my gender has experienced some rapey asshole using sex positivity as an excuse for their behaviour, and accusing anyone of rejecting their advances of prudish conservatism. "That's not very progressive of you" being a line I have specifically heard from someone who would not leave me the fuck alone.
When people have held personal experiences with sex positivity being weaponised by the very people they feel oppressed by of course it ceases to feel liberating. They have experienced it as a tool of control, coercion and sexual pressure to perform for these men.
Counter revolution against sex positivity is an obvious natural result of these experiences. If you experience something negative attached to something, you become negative about it.
This has happened some with "kink culture" too, almost any woman can tell you about some man she started dating just suddenly trying to choke/insult/spit during sex without any warning.
And there's a real big issue with "Doms" who really are just abusive and controlling men who want a 1950's sex slave, not just some roleplay.
Too many times. If you don't get consent for your kinks before doing them to someone, then what you did wasn't consensual. It's waaaay better to get consent before the pants come off in case that is a trigger for your partner. I've had men ask "can I choke you?" mid thrust and been able to enthusiastically say yes, but I'm also like that and told them that was cool earlier.
Like it's good to be open minded, but to have an open mind someone has to fucking talk to you first.
Also during sex kind of blurs lines of consent. A stronger bigger man has you naked and vulnerable. The idea that a real consent can exist in a situation like this is pretty weak. Sexual boundaries should be done in a fair safe and neutral location where all members feel they are fully free to leave without any possibility of backlash or violence.
Elsewise you risk issues with people saying yes, but only because they don't want you to go even further past that.
Yeah, I agree. I hesitated about including that even though I told him we could both ask as we went. I also already trusted him. It probably isn't a good idea for most women.
This is written so fucking well you are an amazonian word sniper.
The /r/Vaush School of Dating
Tacoma Wept (of relief).
Removed by mod
ok SWERF
"the liberals want all women to be capitalist sluts" is puritan trash. should have left that idea at plymouth where it belongs.