Was thinking about this last night. I have friends who I really don’t know anything about on an emotional level because I’ve drilled into my head it’s a conversation meant to be shared in therapy. But there’s also a part of me that sees the value in getting to know people as humans and not just their 9-5 selves. I have fem-presenting friends who seem to be more open to these types of conversations, but I genuinely want to find the line between sharing and over sharing. As a man, It’s pretty depressing to think about tbh, knowing other men for decades but not really knowing anything about them besides their favorite teams or beer.
Is this a thing that’s exclusive to males? Also, if you have any good literature recommendations for this topic please drop below 😅
For me, just talking about your feelings and being open with friends is normal. When it veers into regular, multiple-hour long conversations that go around in circles and you realize your friend is just using you as a distraction instead of actually addressing the root cause of their problem that's emotional labor. It's completely draining and most of the time achieves nothing other than delaying the inevitable of addressing the issue for real. I've done this countless times and it finally clicked that the person didn't actually want help or to put in any effort in.
It's definitely a male social norm and is one of many reasons I'm non-binary because that shit just doesn't feel right