Now that I’ve caught you with the clickbait title,
Basically every post has included some form of toxic self-hate, minus one or two mentioning exercise. While I do like being able to confront these in the first place, the purported goals and name of this community gives people who are giving the exact wrong advice far too much credibility, and the last thing these people need is a comment with the most upbears regurgitating individualistic self-help concepts at them.
If we’re going to keep this sort of community around, I suggest doing some serious research and basing it off of DBT, and integrating serious critiques of CBT style mental healthcare and improvement.
I am just some random nerd who is terrible at self-improvement at general, so I understand taking this with some serious doubt. But I just had to get this off my chest.
Thank you, WithoutFurtherBelay
Can you hypothetically not call me a dipshit for trying to help you
if your advice isn't bootstraps or to simply do the thing that I wouldn't be in here asking about if i could do it
Respectfully, I don't want to argue with you or cause you any grief:
What would you be looking for posting here if you already have concluded that you're screwed?
Illogical faith goes a long way with dealing with/overcoming struggle.
Please don't call anyone here dipshits, assume there are good people here.
I agree they shouldn’t call others dipshits, but generally what I think people need is actionable advice. I understand the desire to help, and it’s always good, we just all have to do serious work digging the bootstraps mentality out of our brain
Agreed, or atleast know when they're not helpful or when to just show support/commiseration. I think there's also some degree of you gotta go and do it (it being non-specific towards anyone, im not talking about anyone specifically) and that's truly tough love that some people will need.
When I complain about my music stuff not going well and someone who doesn't know me tells me to just go do it, i literally am already doing it, that's appropriate time to get mad at that kind of advice. i think also recognizing when you're truly at a dead end is an appropriate time to get mad.
You know what’s funny is that this is kind of true, but I think if it needs to be done repeatedly or for something someone clearly wants to do a lot already, it implies a more fundamental blocking factor which I guess is one of my more important points I’m trying to make.
Fundamental blocking factor, what do you mean?
Like some sort of medical issue or something about the situation which leads someone to be inclined against doing what they want to do . Like if someone blames their laziness for not being able to pay attention all the time, but in reality they just have untreated ADHD
OH gotcha. yes
i dunno maybe somebody has an idea of something to do with permanent burnout after multiple therapists and psychiatric medications failed to treat depression and whatnot. but i haven't seen anything indicating that
yeah dog i'll just willfully delude myself into being a functioning neurotypical person, that's definitely reasonable, effective, and physically possible and not the kind of crap that would get you cal-
sure, fine.
we are not immune to the bootstraps propaganda, and the otherwise goodness of people who typically find their way here does not preclude them from reproducing harmful ableism and impossible or useless "advice"
Willfully deluding yourself is a power tool to have, you can't do anything worthwhile without a degree of illogical faith. That's what faith is, not the religious kind but the human experience kind. It's not a magic bullet that makes your life better, it's a useful tool to have.
If you're so impossibly fucked and you know you're going to shit on any and all response then why post here? To take it out on everyone else? Why is that fair to the rest of us?
It doesn't sound like youre really trying to constructively cope with the worst experience a person could have.
🙄
have you heard of materialism? you should try applying it.
I'm not telling you to base your entire worldview on faith. It's just to have some in your life. The Maoist/Vietnamese/ anyone with a revolutionary spirit had to have some amount of hope that what they were doing to liberate themselves from the imperialists was going to work.
You lack that. It's not hard to get, you can have it too.
revolutionaries had/have reason to hope. they had the support of a population. they had an adversary that could effectively be remedied with incredible violence. I can't murder some capitalists my way out of isolation, burnout, treatment resistant depression, undiagnosed who knows what, and having nothing but slowly dying to look forward to.
personal problems are not at all like societal problems. you're like the rubes who think a nation-state needs to balance its budget like a household.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck ooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Got it, nothing can help you, I'm sorry. Why post here?
protecting other people from bootstraps mentality
, shoe slogans, "tough love", and "the power of positive thinking" bullshit seems necessary and worthwhile
Maybe its helpful to some people, i got a lot of mileage out of some things especially the last one. I remind you that you dont know me or my life
then you got lucky with some incredibly harmful snakeoil. that doesn't make it real and it doesn't make it okay to spread Norman Vincent Peale's bullshit ideology
Some incredible self-victimization here. Giving good advice requires tact, which a lot of people lack. Not all advice is worth listening to.
I just think that hexbear is not a place where you shit thoughtlessly on people like reddit or facebook comment sections. Considering we're all leftists and are #goodpeople, this place should be different to you and if it's not, maybe leave?
Be the bigger person if it's bad advice or alternatively don't ask an internet forum if you're going to be picky.