I ticked all the boxes in high school. Ironic-but-not-really fascist, incel, anti-LGBT, anti-abortion, pick a reaction, really. Now I’m happily married, father, Kinsey-1, reading theory, with growing class consciousness and looking to build solidarity with those people that a worse version of myself once dismissed as lesser or ungodly. It took leaving home, developing positive and loving male-male friendships, and being told that I was good enough and worth love irrespective of my accomplishments for me to start to develop the capacity to love others in the same way. Those who have traveled a similar path, what did it take for you?
What changed me was being a lib that was mad at Trump and the administration. My entire life up until then I was incredibly apolitical - I grew up in a military family, went to college and joined the army reserve as an officer. Went to Afghanistan, came back jaded, but not critical of anything, but shit didn't really sit right with me. I got a federal desk job, where I browsed reddit all day, everyday, mostly the main political subreddits to get myself angry reading about what Trump was doing or whatever. Stumbled onto r/cth, and have been trying to educate myself more and more. Now that I'm at this point, I find myself hating working for the government and wanting to forget about my military service.
Sadly enough, I got a degree in history and when I went through some of my old course work, I realize I did papers on Marx, Foucault, Weber, etc, and none of it resonated with me. Hell, I didn't even understand any of it and I'm just disappointed in my shitty, past self.
Don't hate it. Infiltration and insurrection is good.
Also, you can blow people's minds by being a veteran and shitting on the military industrial complex.