My God, what an overlong, bloated, stupid and pointlessly loud movie. Most of it is just watching nameless sailors getting picked off by Weta Workshop's CGI monstrosities in overly elaborate action scenes (which brought to mind the worst parts of the Hobbit trilogy).
Also, Jack Black's character should've gotten his head torn off by Kong. The character was a massive piece of shit, all of the deaths were his fault but noo, we're supposed to think he's funny. He even gets to deliver the awful final solemn line the movie ends on.
Between this and the Hobbit movies it's a miracle his LOTR trilogy ended up being as good as it was. What a hack fraud
The half assed interjections of character development for all the disposable sailors is the funniest part of the movie for me.
What, you weren't moved by the touching relationship between former feral stowaway kid and his black mentor/father figure???
There's more screen time given for them to be mourned melodramatically than they actually get of character development
Wait, did the kid even survive the island? I wanna say he did but the escape from the island is just a blur to me
I legitimately do not remember. I think the first mate dies and the kid is the one with the moment of faux pathos but I could be remembering it completely backwards
That definitely happens, I just don't remember if the kid makes it off the island- none of the surviving ship crew appear in the New York finale
Also there's apparently a scene in the extended edition where he grabs the first mate's hat off his corpse in the insect ravine :data-laughing:
As stupid and headache inducing as that movie is, I absolutely love the insect scene. It's also the first time since they get to the island that things slow down before ramping up again and you can actually feel some menace and dread. Also I'm a sucker for giant bug monsters.
Like I said above, I saw that scene on its own before and it is legitimately quite nightmarish