• FourteenEyes [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    2039: Barron is now 12'7". Warriors of lesser nations tremble in his shadow. He eats granite boulders for breakfast and shits bullets. Woe betide any who cross his path

  • bazingabrain
    ·
    10 months ago

    kinda feel bad for him tbh? Like imagine your fucking dad is Trump. Donald J. Trump. As your dad. Like mao-wtf

    • wopazoo [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      when your dad becomes the president and you have to move into a smaller house

    • Sephitard9001 [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Trump is your dad and you're a techy kid with probably unfettered access to the internet lmfao

  • oregoncom [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    Reminder that rich people inject their kids with growth hormones and a bunch of them got diseases back in the day since it was harvested from cadavers.

    • OperationOgre [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      10 months ago

      What's new in Barron v17.1.2

      • Increased shoe size from 12 to 13
      • Added a taste for caviar
      • Adjusted daily caloric intake from 3,300 kcal/day to 3,600 kcal/day to account for lacrosse training
      • Various bug fixes
    • Hello_Kitty_enjoyer [none/use name]
      ·
      10 months ago

      The height kind of disproves gene theory
      Trump is 6'0" and Melania is 5'11"

      If you average them out, adding 6 inches to Melania to control for males being taller, Barron should be 6'2.5"

      It basically proves that the genetics for height aren't understood at all, like even a little bit

      • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
        ·
        10 months ago

        Height seems to be mostly an epigenetic thing based on multi-generational nutrition, with a lot of fuzzy wiggle room to just do whatever. Like if multiple generations don't suffer famine then they get progressively taller and eventually start hovering around the 6' mark, while populations under frequent nutritional stress remain smaller and hover around the 5' mark. And that's even before getting into weirder nutritional diseases that can further stunt growth and development if a population's diet lacks certain things.

        And then there are just wild outliers, like anyone going well above 6' is probably not genetics so much as random chance (unless they have specific genetic disorders that cause increased height alongside serious health problems).

        • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
          ·
          10 months ago

          Fun fact: napoleonic army had a requirement of height around 130cm to get drafted, though it is more indicative by the need to grab anyone breathing into the boots than by the average height of population, someone this short wouldn't probably be taken into line service anyway because he would have serious troubles loading the musket.

        • mar_k [he/him]
          ·
          10 months ago

          If it makes you feel any better I'm only a couple years older than him and also can't wrap my mind around the fact '06 kids are 18 this year

          Also idk if it's the hair and the suit but he looks like 28 here?

    • Wertheimer [any]
      ·
      10 months ago

      It was Marla Maples with the bodyguard. Not enough conspiracy theories about Spencer Wagner's death. We should start one.

  • Cherufe [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    He will continue growing until one day he wil eat the moon

  • Mindfury [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    not sure if someone posted it here last night or where i saw it, but another post pointed out that Barron is 6'8 and Slovenian, so he can certainly dunk and should go for a high draft pick

    • heyoheyoheyyyy
      ·
      10 months ago

      if you renamed him barronic trumpovic and took like three videos of him shooting baskets in front of his house he could be drafted in the first round at any point between 1996 and 2012, even with absolutely no record of any kind of basketball experience