Pay for the emoji library access
Just doing some "quality control" to get rid of the tankies
:maybe-later-kiddo:
After watching the r/antiwork mods publicly disembowel themselves like a confused liberal with a toaster in a hot tub, I have zero meaningful complaints about the hexbear sitemod team.
oh. well then, I guess you could tweet that if you want.
or don't. I got fired from my last job after I told a customer to shove a metal pole up their ass, so I have terrible judgement.
thats just what you want us to think
i bet the twitter password secretly lets you hack into the chapo.chat backdoor of hexbears mainframe
it took them a while to delib, but every struggle session has made their hatred for liberalism more pure.
You already pay for emoji library access with the erosion of your soul from being online so much that you actually remember the counter-intuitive names they've all been given
Imagine not spending 10 minutes browsing the picker trying to find an emote you swear you've seen before then settling on something similar but not quite the same when you can't find it.
I can’t change them without breaking previous posts and I still have to figure out symlinking on it :kitty-cri-screm:
this is your fault for trying to be clever with emoji names instead of descriptive, isn't it
:internet-delenda-est:
i swear that's only like 25% of the issue most of the emotes that came before weren't really standardized at all iirc and a lot of it is like, the emote name works better to pick up on in certain contexts than others.
lol it's okay i'd rather have weird emote names than no emotes at all.
:wholesome:
like half of them make sense and follow an
:object-emotion:pattern and then other ones are just incoherent callback jokesexamples:
:die-motherfucker: :walking-dead: :suswcc: :some-controversy:
it is fun finding a rare emote though, makes me feel like an archeologist
It's from an image where it's the same as the emote with the caption "It seems my success has caused some controversy"
I would absolutely get off on watching transphobes pay $5 a pop to downvote trans rights posts. Half of all proceeds go to Mermaids
Usernames are gone, everyone must log in with their Facebook account now.
I think it was a joke pretending to be for relationship advice. People took it seriously and tried to find dates/hook ups with it. Whole comm got locked within 2 days. I have IBS.
Sidebar replaced with penis enlargement ads.
Ad inserted between post title and body so big that you have to scroll the entire screen down.
Ad inserted between every post on the main page.
$15/month "no ads" premium version that removes most but not all ads just to fuck you but you love the site so you'll pay anyway because it is "better".
Sidebar replaced with penis enlargement ads
They make it woke by letting you decide which set(s) of genitals you want to see advertisements for.
:capitalist-woke:
AI is trained on this data correlating pronouns to genitalia to Better Serve trans users. They do not account for the fact that no trans person is going to volunteer information about their genitals on an anonymous website. Whoever designed the thing got paid minimum wage and just defaulted all ads to “penis”. The AI is therefore trained that all trans people have penises. This is made worse by the fact that wreckers love to use neopronouns. For the next ten years, everyone who uses neopronouns on tiktok or Twitter is inundated with dick pill ads and no one can figure out why
this implies that hexbear sold their AI model to other social media sites. that's evil. good job.
Subscription service, even lurking is behind a paywall. Hexbear gets it's own land in the metaverse which sells for millions but still uses communist and anarchist symbols. Reactionaries are allowed to post in the spirit of "hearing both sides". We get a V*ush comm and he mods it.
bit account, /u/HuellHowser, goes around declaring posts "Hexbear's gold", reposting them with brief introductions after several weeks
WELL GOSH GOLLY IF THAT AIN'T A FINE AND DOWNRIGHT CHRISTIAN IDEA!!
The very first thing they do is replace the software with a custom proprietary message board created by oDesk contractors who got paid $3/hr. It's implemented in PHP and all of the unique features which were born from user demand are missing, but from the perspective of a publicly traded company, any software infrastructure licensed under the Affero GPL must be stomped into the dirt like a scorpion. They do introduce micro-sect account flairs though because focus group trials indicated that sectarianism drives conflict and conflict drives user engagement.
The new software launches with a site rebrand to wash some of the 'tankie' reputation away and they hire a boutique guerilla marketing firm (in actuality, just three Reddit power-users with visible stink lines coming off of them) to boost the site's 'flagging' KPIs. They spread the word among some of Reddit's most active leftist forums, including r/WorkReform, r/Vaush, and r/NewPatriotism. Some popular leftist Twitter users, such as BrooklynDad_Defiant! and The Hoarse Whisperer are offered small cash payments to tweet positively about the new site. The existing communities and network of site moderators prove counterproductive to this growth initiative, so the owners step in and contract out moderation to a small tech startup which claims to specialize in online community relations.
The site grows over the next several months. Key performance indicators such as active user count, ad impressions, and subscriptions increase tenfold within a year. Several of Twitch's most popular affiliated streamers have held AMAs and a couple have even migrated their communities after being banned from Reddit for coordinated misogynistic harassment. These numbers prove attractive to several prospective buyers, and the company begins formally posturing itself to sell. Ultimately the site ends up changing hands again, this time to Cheezburger, Inc.
