What if I were to find a torchlight factory near bankruptcy, rebrand their torchlight as “Solar Charger,” and make a ton of grift out of it?
“Are you into sun charging but find yourself short on time? Don’t worry! Try our Solar Charger, which perfectly simulates the cosmic energy of the Sun and concentrates them on your sphinctral receptors! Now with the added function of wifi connection and app control subscription at just $6.99/month, you can input your location, and the Solar Charger will automatically sync its schedule and intensity with your local sunlight! Never miss that special Summer Solstice charge ever again!
What if I were to find a torchlight factory near bankruptcy, rebrand their torchlight as “Solar Charger,” and make a ton of grift out of it?
“Are you into sun charging but find yourself short on time? Don’t worry! Try our Solar Charger, which perfectly simulates the cosmic energy of the Sun and concentrates them on your sphinctral receptors! Now with the added function of wifi connection and app control subscription at just $6.99/month, you can input your location, and the Solar Charger will automatically sync its schedule and intensity with your local sunlight! Never miss that special Summer Solstice charge ever again!
“Solar Charger — we’ve got your back!”
pure neoliberalism. sun your hole with natural light as your precapitalist forebears did
Innovate, you say? Fine. Fiber optic light pipe into a butt plug. Also cures Covid by getting the light inside the body.
buttplug with fiber optics in it to sun inside
edit: beaten by nine hours, i am owned