It sucks enough that I've lost my friend, it sucks even more that I still have to work with him, and it sucks even more that even Hextube doesn't seem to be a place to turn anymore. It sucks the most that I can't even feel my own emotions because of excessive SSRIs.

i tried to post this to c/mentalhealth and it blocked me for some reason

  • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]M
    ·
    5 months ago

    Sorry to hear this comrade. I don't know what to say, so maybe sharing a sentiment will help in some way -

    I lost a number of friends in 2023 for, well, lots of reasons. Most bridges seem to irreparably burned. While I dunno why the MH comm stopped you from posting, im glad youre talking about it. For me, when im not doing the best, I shut down and wall myself off. So it's encouraging to see you being candid.

    Sending all the love in the world Care-Comrade

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I'm doing better now after a little bacardio

      i ended up falling for my friend but he already has a partner, then we got too close, then he (probably rightfully) cut me off

      now i have to handle being so alone (never been in a relationship) and i also have to handle seeing him feet away from me in the break room every day while we ignore each other

      fucking hell i'm 28 now jesus christ

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
      ·
      5 months ago

      thanks bud meow-hug

      the other day i kinda lost it and posted a hawk pic

      i'm glad i sent it to hexbear

      my hawk iz a little small so please be nice https://hexbear.net/post/1743514

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    You're super cool and I always love your posts and your doing a book club inspired me to start my own meow-hug

      • FourteenEyes [he/him]
        ·
        5 months ago

        denji-just-like-me k-pain but with Unmasking Autism

        need to go through and make more notes and have a post and post it with the Create Post button

  • Yurt_Owl
    ·
    5 months ago

    It sucks the most that I can't even feel my own emotions because of excessive SSRIs.

    I know exactly how this feels and it sucks big time.

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
      ·
      5 months ago

      thanks bud

      yeah a lot of pretty sad shit has happened in my life and i haven't been able to cry once

      • Yurt_Owl
        ·
        5 months ago

        Being unable to cry is a unique torment. Maybe instead some silly videos to take your mind of it? https://youtu.be/opCvBzYXyd0

  • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    i learned a new rule about drinking

    if you don't move it feels worse

    if you exercise it feels better

    maybe i need to try bacardio

  • context [fae/faer, fae/faer]
    ·
    5 months ago

    It sucks enough that I've lost my friend, it sucks even more that I still have to work with him

    i seem to be in the same boat right now. shit sucks.

    heart-sickle

    • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
      ·
      5 months ago

      glad we're not alone

      it became a whole mess, at least in my head

      i wish i could tell him that i love him, but i can't even talk to him

      we can't be together

      i had to talk to him today for work-related reasons and he just looked at me with the most terrified eyes

      it hurts to see him in fear, it hurts that i can't comfort him, it hurts that i can't be with him, it hurts that i can't hurt

      dunno why i'm drinking again when i was saying today that drinking can only make a bad situation worse, which is exactly what is happening right now

  • HexbearGPT [comrade/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    Sending you a hug. It will get better than this. And stick around to see what happens in the world. We are not in control of it but we can watch it and wait in case something cool happens that we can participate in like a revolution.

    Hang in there. We all have hard times. They suck. But they do end. Eventually.

  • Melonius [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    I'm sorry you're having to go through this and that you can't find solace in some of the places you used to. I hate how sadness saps the joy from things you thought you could count on.

  • PointAndClique [they/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    Idk what you're going through but sorry to hear that you're hurting meow-hug please accept my emoji hug.

  • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    It's really nice to wake up and see the outpouring of love from Hexbear (and beyond, I see you Lemmygrad users). I'll be OK eventually but it still hurts right now. Thank you for all the kind words. kitty-cri

  • Mardoniush [she/her]
    ·
    5 months ago

    You're cool and good and people like you deserve good people around you.