I hate chuds so much. In school, I have to listen to both the students and the teachers spew out the most vile garbage I have ever heard in my entire life. But whenever I try to push back against their bullshit I’m the weird one, the one that’s unhinged, every single god damn time, the students are flabbergasted and flustered whenever I even try to introduce one iota of human empathy into anything at all. The teachers are even worse, they just cut me off and try to insert their own dog shit, fascistic ideology into what I have said, trying to shame away the empathy from me. It makes bash my head into a wall. It’s so exhausting to hear everyone's bullshit 24/7. All of this is not helped at all by all the dysphoria i have built up. My voice is disgusting, my body revolting, my legs look like gorilla legs, mu arm hair is awful, my hair is still short, looking at myself in the mirror makes me want to vomit. And i definitely don't have anyone irl to talk to or process this shit with. I cant talk to anyone at all around me, not honestly. All this makes me feel like im dying, I wish I could cry, but I can't, and im so sad and so tired and i know i cant do a single god damn thing about it. I don't know how much longer I can live this way, not long.