I learned to march in formation before knowing how to write, and maybe even count. Every morning at school started with a flag ceremony and obligatory salutes to Mao Zedong. Textbooks were illustrated with watercolour Lenins and Stalins, drawn to look much more handsome than they actually were.

Damn, I'm glad that I was only forced to pledge allegiance to the flag and was allowed to wait until high school before joining JROTC and learning how to march and being inundated with militaristic propaganda. I'm so relieved that I didn't have to grow up in evil communist China!