I moved to Germany from India 4 years ago. Before you have a prejudice regarding me, I would like to state that I am a open minded, leftist, very much aware of privileges society and an atheist.
I got out of a four year long relationship last year and since then it took me this many months to move on from it. My attachment style is a bit anxious oriented. But since then I have been doing therapy and have got hell of a perspective within myself. In short, I have a better control of my life.
I started dating again last month after 5 years and I feel like I am either toooo old for this current dating scenario or just a bit conservative. It seems like people are just looking for hookups, for which I am not against it but I am looking for something long term. And it's just so hard to find someone like that. Every other person I meet is either there for fucking or polygamous relationships. I am not sure if it is just the Germans or this is a global thing. But I feel like me wanting to have a monogamous, long term relationship and possibly a marriage is considered a bit conservative now. I know that one can never decide on longetivity of relationship and I also don't go out there say openly that I am seeking some life long partner or whatever but I wish to have one. Please help me get some perspective on this, how do I exactly orient myself in this? Do I need to change the way I think about wants and needs?
No. You're not being all that conservative at all. Hookup culture is kind of the norm everywhere, at least that's what it seems like. Polyamory isn't even all that common, but you're also probably on dating apps where hookups and polyamory are a lot more common. Your best bet would be to get out there and meet people, obviously easier said than done. Are there local Indian communities in your city that you can maybe get to know?