Honestly I don't meet the Yanks all that much regularly. I have a couple friends who I see semi frequently, and they're obviously ok. The Americans here at Hexbear are super cool. Since Covid lockdowns are breaking, I've been seeing more of them randomly. And in the conversations with them, I'm seeing a lot of mean-ish comments along the lines of "haha, you did something I'm not used to".
For example, in the past month, I've gotten called out for:
- asking a guy at a literal commie beer event if he was a "comrade"
- using the metric system
- moving away from a boring conversation topic by asking a person what their job is, without a good convo transition
- saying colonisation changed African countries
- saying conservatives care more about aesthetics
- joking that I pray to Lenin every morning (thank you lib for pointing out that this isn't what socialism is)
Honestly sarcasm is good and fine with friends. Like, if the love is clearly there, then ya tease me a bit. Dunno, but it feels like these people treat conversations as a competitive sport. Oh ya, these people are all massive libs as well.
In some parts of the country. Not all, by far. In most of America you just come off as a jerk.
Where are you talking about? I've observed it in California, Texas, Florida, Georgia, Pennsylvania, New England, New York, and the Midwest, and I've observed it in cities, suburbs, and rural areas - that covers most of the country's cultural areas. Does the PNW not do this? That's the only one I'm missing
Can confirm North Carolina and South Carolina as well. Some gentle ribbing and self-deprecating humor is how my coworkers and I build rapport. You dish out some jokes and take others. It's part of the back and forth here.
Biased sample.
I mean, sure, it's just one person's experiences, but where do you not see this behavior? Utah? I haven't met a ton of Mormons so I could believe that, but I've observed it in practically all groups that I've interacted with and places I've been.
I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I'm autistic and genuinely curious — understanding cultural differences in interactions between strangers and acquaintances is important to me so I can navigate unfamiliar social situations
Dunno, but I think you guys can both be right that in some parts of the US, mean sarcasm can be cool or rude. I'm not mad, but I'd feel really bad if I started a struggle session.
Ah you're good, don't think it's any kind of struggle session — I'm just trying to find out if they're speaking from personal experience so that I can make sure I don't mess up trying to bond with people who aren't receptive to that sort of thing
I'm saying your experience is insufficiently broad, and biased towards people like yourself.
Okay yes obviously but where is that untrue? I'm not making a blanket statement that everyone does it, but you make it sound like it isn't common everywhere and I'd like to know with which groups and/or in which areas you've seen that behavior be poorly received so that I can be aware for future interactions
This is just an example of that 'dunking' behavior. As is my own comment here, after all, if it's all just anecdotes, who is to say your experience isn't insufficiently broad and biased?
I will say that in my experience, teasing and ball busting is a huge part of white male culture throughout America, and while there is an element of it in all American male friendships, I definitely don't see it throughout the various PoC communities or among women. However, because white male culture is one of the dominant strains of 'normal' behavior, it's definitely commonplace.
Woah sorry. I didn't mean to start a struggle session. People are garbage in many countries, I promise.