In a thread, a few days ago, perhaps a week or two in fact, there was a discussion about helping people in natural disasters, and when I said I wouldn't help someone with a swastika, flying a confederate flag, people surprisingly called me out on that, saying they became socialists to help people, and not to cause more misery and so on. The main argument was potentially turning an enemy into a friend, but there obviously was the "moral" argument of helping your neighbour. I didn't think much of it, and went on with my life.

However, a few days later, I listened to "It could happen here", and posted about it. The podcast is basically a frightening thought experiment about the eventuality of a second american civil war, and it made me doubt a few things I took for granted. It also makes me realize I'm not even able to feel as a morally decent person anymore. I keep de-humanizing people, be it billionaires, nazis, landlords or even libs, I have grown bitter, angry and jaded towards normies, I genuinely despise a good chunk of them, and a part of me would absolutely love to see them get what they deserve.

And I hate it. I have the feeling to be wrong, that it is wrong to want people to be hanged or to get the wall, but it has almost become a reflex at this point. To make things even more complicated, the podcast reminded me of something : I could've been one of these guys. I could've become a fascist, had things gone horribly wrong, which almost did happen. It reminds me that these guys are humans, just like me. Flawed, stupid, credulous, miserable but still human. So here's the fucking question : am I wrong for thinking violence is the only solution to save ourselves from the coming horror ? What do these people deserve should we come out on top ? Am I a horrible person for hating libs and normies with my guts, even more than I hate reactionaries ?

And yes, I know I'm a fucking edgelord, but I'm honest with it; and I genuinely wish to hear your thoughts on this, because I am sure as hell that I'm not the only one having doubts on the question of mercy.