• itappearsthat
    ·
    5 months ago

    at least one rambling section about how steadfast support of israel makes our union stronger

  • beef_curds [she/her]
    ·
    5 months ago

    They pump him so full of stimulants he has a stroke live on camera, but no one can tell because it looks like his normal behavior.

  • MorelaakIsBack [comrade/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    pants: crapped

    snooze button: slammed

    question preprepared for deploy against 'jacks': where am i?

    genocide: in progress

  • MaxOS [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    The economy is great, my memory's fine, cheeto bad, ukraine can still win, cancer is being cured...
    whywhywhywhywhy

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      ·
      5 months ago

      I have to share. I couldn't stop myself from thinking of it in another way. I made myself vomit in my mouth a little.

      • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]
        ·
        5 months ago

        I did too tbh

        Stroke on stage is the mainstream bet the smart money is on strip completely naked and pound on the podium like the Kony 2012 guy

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
          ·
          5 months ago

          strip completely naked

          I know I already had the idea of a naked Biden in my head. But it was fuzzy and inchoate. And now it's not. : (

  • pudcollar [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    He'll say "put it there man, up high" and hold up his hand awkwardly towards all of the Republicans in general, waiting expectantly. Some nonagenarian congressman will leap to attention and shout "SIEG..." before being hurriedly shushed by his relatively lucid colleagues.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    His head suddenly detonates ala Scanners, Michael Ironside emerges as the new democratic frontrunner, Darkseid

    • FALGSConaut [comrade/them]
      ·
      5 months ago

      Lmao why? Why would they stop testing? Are they really that high on their own supply that they think COVID is over? I understand why they got rid of testing and mask requirements for everyone else, but I would have thought the octogenarian president of the United States would be a little more cautious.

      This is just going to be a slam dunk for Trump after Biden dies from COVID. He'll have a field day having survived it when Biden couldn't

      • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
        ·
        5 months ago

        Lmao why?

        Messaging. "We're 100% back to normal, jack!"

        Don't forget that Biden went to not one but two superspreader events in 2022. And Biden and his inner circle knew before the events happened that they would be superspreaders. The first was the Gridiron Dinner. The second was the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Biden risked his own elderly health to force through the message "We're back to normal!"

        Even super-lib Trevor Noah made a joke about it.

        Noah: Did none of you learn anything from the Gridiron Dinner? Do you read any of your own newspapers? You guys spent the last 2 years on the importance of wearing masks and avoiding large indoor gatherings then the second someone offers you a free dinner, you turn into Joe Rogan.

        Tweet

        Right after "...Joe Rogan" - the camera goes to Biden. He laughs and then he looks down oddly like he just suffered a stroke.

  • culpritus [any]
    ·
    5 months ago

    We must keep the corrupt unions from weakening our economy. That's what Putin wants!

    doomer

  • emizeko [they/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    he'll talk about his toe problems for a few minutes and then an aide will come over and whisper to him and he'll go "OH I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE STATE OF THE BUNION"

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
      ·
      5 months ago

      Tomorrow afternoon out of nowhere Trump appears in DC. He snuck in. And there's a large convoy of semis.

      "Who wants to listen to rotten brain lyin' Joe Biden? Nobody. Nobody! I said 'I wanna go to Washington and be there to give Trump's State of the Union 'cause Biden's State of the Union is gonna be bad. Very bad. 'Cause Biden doesn't got it any more." He points to his temple and make's a you know I'm right and he's very dumb face. "And this trucker - big guy, very big guy - musta been 6' 7" 'cause I'm tall too - He was big! Muscles everywhere. Big! He says 'Mr. President - sir - we are with you. We're gonna drive you. We love you so much.' And they do. It's true. It's true..."