Ironically, this person is probably deifying Trump just as much, if not more, than his supporters by claiming that his death would turn the tide of the Russia-Ukraine War and that it would have any pull on China.
everyone will think it's fake
Hahaha yeah
Celebrations and "speaking ill of the dead" discourse
Hahaha yeah
Evangelicals being weird
Hahaha yeah
Republicans will have no nominee
Ehhhh, probably not, but sure, it'd be funny
Discourse on if Biden should attend his funeral
Hahaha yeah
turns the tide on the Ukraine War and Taiwan
...wat???
They think Trump is the difference in Ukraine getting bulldozed, not the fact that Ukraine is throwing out conscripts they yanked off the street days earlier to fight an opponent that has complete air, armor, and artillery superiority
Liberals truly have no concept of materialism, or even reality in some instances
I enjoy how it starts off realistic and then quickly veers off the overpass into fantasy land. Where's the part where Xi offers the unconditional surrender of China?
Israel/Palestine gives their complete, unconditional surrender, and gives all their land to the other one, depending on where this user stands.
Israel and Palestine agree to a two-state solution except that the Israeli and Palestinian zones swap places every five years all Pheasant Island style, and everybody has to move between the two zones accordingly during the week-long migration period
Observant Muslims upon finding a bottle of wine in their homes:
This lib will also be really disappointed when, after Trump dies, every living former president goes to his funeral, and the only person who vocally refuses is some progressive candidate in some unwinnable race who it turns out, wasn't even invited.
A lot of people seem to have forgotten, or aren’t old enough to remember, that this exact same type of person had these exact same types of thoughts about George W. Bush 15-20 years years ago (for good reason, no less), and today he’s just another former president. There's no reckoning coming for Trump, legally or reputationally. He’ll be yet another former president, no more or less.
I 'member when Reagan died and everyone kissed his dead ass too.
It always happens in capitalist democracy. "It's a big club and you ain't in it"
Libs will clap like no tomorrow when the US government unveils the USS Donald J. Trump (just kidding, no way they'll still have enough industrial capacity for it by then)
Liberals will clap when president Fetterman unveils the renders of the USS Donald J. Trump, celebrating the contract to build this "bulwark against Chinese aggression" being awarded to his most generous campaign donor.
The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced.
Ahh right, because losing 69,420 tanks per week didn't cause Russian morale to collapse, but Trump dying will put Russian organization below the threshold necessary to attack. All Ukraine has to do is walk one Cavalry unit to Moscow to capture the sweet VPs there.
China similarly backs off it's threats on Taiwan
Chinese General: "President Xi, the Americans are in disarray and will likely be in political paralysis for at least six months as the parties fight for control. Now is the time to strike."
Xi, Fu-Manchu-ly stroking his beard and leaning back into the shadows: "No, my friend. Now... We wait."
they just openly admit to nazi thinking without even realizing it. triumph of will shit.
russia isnt winning because they have more men, more weapons and more industry. no. it's because the people in the kremlin have very good morale.
I call this "fascist magical thinking". It's the same play as the Nazis and Imperial Japan had during WWII. Kick the weak democracies and the removed communists hard enough and they'll just surrender.
lmao the funniest one of these is the idea that all the living presidents wouldn't attend Trump's funeral. Motherfuckers would be chomping at the bit to be the first in line to give Trump's legacy the Dubya Bush treatment.
Also I feel like Trump memes are dead and have been for a while.
My face when the libs turn a venal, weird elderly failson in to Morgoth, Fel Enemy of the World.
"Lordsworn come up to me all the time. They come up and say "Morgott, the Tarnished is of passing skill." "Passing skill" they say. And I tell them, and you wouldn't believe how often I tell them. I tell them that this Tarnished can't even find a maiden, how's he supposed to become a lord? Now a good friend of mine, Gideon, he's very smart, knows all the words, well not as much as me but lots, Gideon tells me a tarnished can't even become elden lord. What is he thinking? Get outta here Tarnished, go back to sleepy Miquella and the losers at the Haligtree."
As morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan
Blue MAGA is unfortunately real. America solves its problems because the other guy just dies. Don't libs understand that conservatives have the same exact fantasies about them?
If liberals actually believed the Ukraine and China parts of this then they would kill Trump.
Unfortunately they don't actually believe this incredibly stupid shit.
Yeah dude the average russian conscript's morale sure has anything to do with Trump being alive.
This was the bit that really blew me away. In what fuckin headspace are you that you think Trump dying is gonna hurt all the russian troops feelings enough to implode their forces?
The internet has made me hate the word "discourse". FFS, 25% of this person's points are about what the internet's topic of the week will be.
Bush: Will attend, will say something innocuous but nice that liberals cannot shut up about for weeks.
Obama: Rolls up, struts his shit like he's on the red carpet. Has a great time. Michelle and W. talk about the latest marvel movie or something. He makes one deniably cutting remark to a reporter before the service. Liberals shit their pants and print the quote on coffee mugs. His official remarks are a concise speech that covers all the usual bases and avoids particulars about Trump. He does the hate the man but respect the office bullshit. He gives a thirty minute interview with Jimmy Fallon the next night where he says nothing and promoted his new book or whatever.
Pence: Is in attendance, literally nobody talks to him.
Kamala: Does not attend. Liberals hoot n' holler about it for a month, even after its revealed that her absence was becaise she overslept because of all the wine and xanax. This is all discovered after her team releases a video, a week afterbthe funeral, of a (poorly) deepfaked Kamala participating in a ribbon cutting ceremony for a school for undocumented child amputees. The school doesnt even exist.
Biden: You're fucking braindead if you think he wouldnt be there. Unfortunately for the rest if us, he's braindead too. He talks to one reporter before the service where he says a bunch of rambling bullshit about Trump being a president and that he was a tough opponent. He trails off after slurring some tiktok slang word his team tried to coach him to say to seem hip and with it. His team hurry him away and he does not talk to any other reporters. He wears sunglasses during the service despite being indoors. He makes no official statements.
Biden barely, and I mean barely gets enough electoral college votes to win the presidency later in November. Theres another Jan 6 type thing this time on inauguration day. Biden is taken to a safe house and gives his inauguration speech with a zoom logo in the corner of the screen. Three days later its a national tragedy when President Biden suffers a sudden heart attack and is declared dead. Kamala is delaclared president. She laughs her way through her oath of office.
Conspiracy theories spread like wildfire in the aftermath. With one in particular persisting, that Biden actually actually died of a stroke and we all witnessed the start of it on live TV at Trump's funeral. His staff did a weekend at Bernie's to get through the funeral then just kept him on ice through inauguration.
Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. I'll back it up a bit and try to imagine something more realistic.
Two weeks after the funeral and one week after the release of the Deepfake Kamala video, made by her team to cover for her conspicuous absence at Trump's funeral theres a mass shooting at a spanish immerson elementary school in colorado and the aforementioned video is mentioned in the shooters manifesto.
Biden would think he is at the funeral of Strom Thrumond and start the eulogy his staff wrote for the occasion
It seemed fine until the funeral bit.
There would be memes, some of them would be funny, some of them would stick around.
The funeral and the china is pure
thoThere will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)
Yet he and Bush die of a stroke and not in front of a firing squad. These people are just so deeply unserious
Who will celebrating? The libs who blindly hate Trump will be the exact same "don't speak ill of the dead" people this guy is talking about. And Biden not going to the funeral? The funeral of the guy he got 90% of his policy decisions from? Of course he's going. They all will, in the name of "civility" and reaching across the aisle. Dems will attempt to return to "business as usual" with the republicans and will begin rehabilitating Trump's image before his body is even cold.
Then the weird geopolitics imagination-zone thing...it's just bizzare. It's interesting watching libs try to make sense things and predict things. They understand the concept of cause and effect, but also just kind of think that everything is related to the latest spectacle and always have to shove it in somewhere, and always with the outcome they want. They can't imagine that Trump dying would have 0 effect on Ukrainian morale (pretty sure they care more about not being dragged into vans and shoved onto the front line as meat shields than they do about an election on the other side of the planet). They can't imagine that wanting an outcome really hard has no bearing on whether it actually happens, even if they sacrifice Trump to the god of liberalism to do so.
Who would be celebrating? To be fair, we'd probably have a
thread if that happened.We would have a crab party for every single person currently or previously in the US government.
That includes Bernie. His crab party will likely destroy the site in one final struggle session.
Ten thousand new memes, lads. Just think of it. Cheeto man memes. Mango man memes. Pumpkin man memes? Maybe we're running the joke into the ground, but we've got 9,997 to go! Oh, Fanta memes, because Fanta was Nazi (look it up). Ooh, did we mention his fingers were short?
The internet promised the greatest cultural flourishing the world had yet seen, a revolution to eclipse the printing press, and this is what we end up with. Visions of memes dancing like sugar plums in the otherwise empty skulls of a bunch of vapid screen junkies.
