Hi comrades and welcome to the third improvement megathread of March!
We are in the middle of March and there are exactly 2 more full weeks until the end of the month. This is a good time to review your progress so far and set goals or priorities for the rest of the month.
As usual, some discussion ideas:
- Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
- What would you like to do next week?
- Which aspect are you currently focused on improving?
- Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
- If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
- Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?
Good luck with your goals!
Hell yeah
I'm down to 74kg currently. Do you have a goal weight in mind?
No real goal weight beyond "get rid of all this beer belly". I am seriously considering trying to do HRT and that will obviously start fucking with my weight so I don't want to do anything super drastic for now. Still feels good though
Im thinking about seeing a therapist, mostly for my relationship with my parents and for how my other relationships seem to be affected by it. I'm afraid to go because of liberal mindrot.
mokeydump
My mom shouldnt of had kids, she seemed to have ducked out of responsibility for most of her life and now that I am an adult shes on so many meds that shes basically not the same person. It's so difficult to talk to her that the relationship is effectively dead. She's also been pissing me off about money because she's now obsessing about it (i imagine because she refused to do anything herself) and she's been opening my mail when she gets it and asking about what I get paid. It doesn't feel good, interactions with her feel like transactions.
My dad had a lot of childhood trauma that he'll never resolve, hes too old. He was adopted, his mom died infront of him and his dad hated his guts. He can be really sweet and nice but he's also a trump republican idiot and it makes him well mean and stupid. I can only be around him for so long before he starts saying stupid shit.
They're my parents but I kind of resent them. I dont think it's an immature or indeserved feeling either, I seriously don't know what to do with it. I can try and love them anyway but when I have to look at reality and it reminds me of the consequences I can't bring myself to do it. I don't like having a mediocre job or being a mediocre musician, I could have done better.
I grew up poor and on top of having poor people problems, I was also socially dysfunctional and I kind of wasted my youth just getting through it. I went to college and saw what people look like when they have neither of my two problems for the first time and now that I have disgested it, I havent been able to move on from the shock. I absolutely hate rich people because I can see how all my problems stem from the way resources are taken from my people and exacerbate the problems they already have. If my parents had money or it wasnt an issue maybe they could have seen a therapist or had some time to breath outside of work and having kids to fix the bullshit they have going on.
I'm kind of angry that my parents put me in a hostile environment and neglected me. My friends were doing drugs and fucking at 11, I wasnt doing well in school and they did nothing to fix it. I was just trying to get through it and the standards were so low. It's not their fault though, they both had unresolved problems and werent ready to meet the problems of another human being. Naturally, if my parents are going to be like that and unable to rise through it, what I need to do is rise through my own issues and be a better person for others.
Now I have to pick up the scraps because I feel like I've failed at everything I've attempted. I feel like I was neglected and my environment growing up was hostile. Everything I've done feels like a failure compared to the people I went to school with. I've rationalized that and found some pride to go with it but the objective truth still stands. It's cool what I've done despite what happened but I should have done better and I know it.
My partner is doing pretty well comparatively and I want to make sure I'm not taking any of this out on them and I want to see what can I do to not be toxic. Everything is not perfect but I feel like I've only had a handful of good years in my life and I'm living some of them right now. I don't want to spoil anymore of them with some shit I'm taking with me for no reason.
Hey friend, just wanted to pop in to say that, as someone coming from an abusive family, I understand better than most where you're coming from. Over a decade out from living with them, I still have not fully recovered from those relationships. However, I will say therapy has been a fantastic tool to work through some of those issues and, if you put the effort in, it truly does get easier with time. Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
I think just being honest about your experiences and goals goes a long way. It helps to find a therapist that has dealt with family relationship issues (usually they list it somewhere). In general just make sure you feel comfortable with your therapist, they aren't being judgemental, and they ask you engaging questions that get you to open up about your situation and start working through things. At least for me it was extremely difficult to talk about at first, but got easier with each session.
I've been working on an idle game for loosely a couple months now. I've got all the systems and features down and working the way i want, but I'm just so bad at creating the content and balancing. It takes me so long to add new items and such; I find it to be the boring part of game dev and i wish I could sit and focus on it for an extended period of time and just grind it out.
I'm so close to having an alpha release though, so I'm very happy about that!
Making your own game is so cool. What kind of idle game is it? I've never fucked with that genre.
It takes me so long to add new items and such; I find it to be the boring part of game dev
If that part is not enjoyable, would you be open to collaborate with somebody else on that part? There's at least one other game dev on Hexbear but probably more
In any case, make sure to post the game on here so that we can try it when it's playable
Its inspired by similar games like A Usual Idle Life and Progress Knight.
I do actually enjoy working alone on things, even on stuff that I don't necessarily enjoy doing. Ill definitely be posting an alpha here as soon as its ready
Everything from scratch, it is written in c# blazor, so it runs in the browser as wasm. Its just a text based game, though.
My goal this week was to go running on two days and I managed to do it. I also practiced meditation on 4 days. My goal is the same for next week, I want to go running on two days again. I also want to eat enough in order to have energy to exercise.
The thing that I want to share with the class today is this super interesting podcast episode - Michael Pollan — This Is Your Mind on Plants. It's not strictly self-improvement related but it's very interesting. He talks about three plants - opium, caffeine, and mescaline - and their effects on human history. He mentions that caffeine was important to capitalism because it improved productivity and enabled people to work night shifts.
One of the things that I like most about exercise is that mindset of "I need to eat enough carbs/ protein/ fat/nutrients to [accomplish fun physical activity and build muscle]" :D
instead of "I mustn't eat lest I become fat" :/
which was the mindset handed down by my mom.
The podcast looks right up my ally. Drugs have always been part of the human experience. Anyway good job this week.
Dating endeavor is progressing, got a second date. And going to have a third date! I really like the guy. I've lived so long thinking it was hopeless, I wish I had started sooner.
Finished rebirth, im going to start practicing again and i also want to lose 10 lbs. Im down 2 so far.
roll call:
@SeventyTwoTrillion@hexbear.net
If anybody else wants to be added to the roll call, just let me know
today i am going to pack lunches for myself for the rest of the week to be nice to myself. they will be good lunches
Turkey sandwiches and some little snack packs with some dried chickpeas/cheese cubes/carrot sticks/chocolate orange jelly candy things
I got a job after a few months! I start tomorrow. Hired without a stage so that feels like they need help but, hey, I need a job.
Been chugging along reading. I feel great there. Had a big exercise day a couple days ago and I went bowling after a long time off. So my right hand and arm are sore in the weird ways.
thank you!
"Nobody Is Talking About This" - Patricia Lockwood. Booker shortlist. It's the experience of an online "celebritry" liberal white woman over a few years. Covid, "the dictator", etc. It's written in pithy disjointed paragraphs kind of like the author is tweeting it. Then a serious matter with the author's sister and it's become a little meditation on that. It's pretty.
"Salvation: Black People and Love" - bell hooks. I've seen ms. hooks justifiably criticized on here but I thought I'd see for myself. I read lots of poc authors for February and this is wrapping that up. I don't have a ton of thoughts on this book, I don't think I am the target audience as a melanin-freefolk but it is interesting for the perspective. I had to finish Rashid Khalidi's history of the war on Palestine as my nonfiction first.
I also have a bookmark in a collection of Maya Angelou's poems that I've been neglecting. Trying to keep a balanced reading load with a fiction, a nonfiction, and a poetry collection this year. And I've got some beginner's theory opened in a couple of tabs that I've been chipping away at.
That's awesome! I'm currently reading How Not To Die by Michael Greger, which is a non-fiction book about the health benefits of a plant-based diet. It's an incredible book and everybody needs to read it. Also, I think you would enjoy the podcast Overdue. It's a podcast about books, the hosts are very nice and have good politics
Last week my workout streak broke at around 13-14 days. Been back on it since though, so that's progress compared to what happened in the past.
Been running just about every other day. So far mostly just short 2-4 mile runs. I'm trying to find the right pace for myself as I build my stamina back up from where its been the past few years. I'm floating between 11-12 minutes/mile. If I can keep it up I'll probably do more miles and mix in some interval running as well.
I'm hoping to lose some weight, but so far I haven't made enough changes in my diet to really see much change. I still feel real good right now though, I have way more full of energy compared to even a month ago.
I'm hoping to lose some weight, but so far I haven't made enough changes in my diet to really see much change.
My pro tip is try to find lower calorie versions of the stuff you already eat. There are plenty of low cal options of every food now. I found some great low calorie bread and cereals. It was a really easy way to reduce 300kcal every day.
