I know it's just a fascist bullshit, but how do these guys not know that toned muscles are due to diet and planned exercise routines, not something inherent to health or whatever. I'm guessing almost no one looked like that for the entirety of pre-modern human history.

https://mobile.twitter.com/OrwellNGoode/status/1557400252931522560

  • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Body image issues aside, these dorks think they'd be skilled labor, ye olde coppe :thumb-cop: , or anything other than :you-are-a-serf:

    • hexaflexagonbear [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      We're in- we're in fucking 1320, motherfucker. You are a serf. Bitch, you live in Alsace. You are a peasant. You need to give your fuckin lord the GRAIN. Your - your fucking children, you've had 15 child - you've never taken a bath. You have literally never. washed. your. penis. You're fucking a- you've never used toilet paper! Motherfucker, you have WORMS. You are dying. You've had forty children, three of them are alive, two of them are child soldiers in the duke's army. Bitch, the greatest thing you can hope for, is to die at the ripe old age of thirty six. You - you fucking can't read? You fucking, you dont know what TV is? You are literally, if you were transported to today, you would be the worst gamer of all time. You don't know shit, you literally probably don't even know what the direction LEFT is.

      So, I'm sure some "medieval guy" is gonna get mad at me for this, bitch, i've been to the renaissance fair. I've eaten a large turkey wing that the juggalos call 'bitch beaters' which i think is problematic but a funny thing to call them. Motherfucker.. you've gotta - you've gotta recognize where you are. And then, you've gotta get past that. You gotta be - you gotta be unemotional, and i know im not being a great, great uhh display of that myself, but you've gotta - you can't sink into this hole. you LIVE in the oubliette. your job is to crawl up the ladder motherfucker. You live in the hole. You're in the hole. You are a rat. And the rat, when he's in the hole, gets FUCKED. People, they only throw trash in the hole. You know what you need to eat? you need to eat a BODY, and you need to carry the plague. And you need to carry the plague around this whole world that will change this whole fucking world. And, and, and - and all your fucking enemies will vomit black bile and they will choke on blood and grow boils and DIE, but only if you get together with your other rats, and you come up with some kinda super-plague, to fuckin END YOUR ENEMIES and END THIS NIGHTMARE.

    • ssjmarx [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Royal Guard is especially funny. Those guys have a lot of propaganda talking about how badass they were, but in 99% of cases those kinds of high ranking defensive military institutions were just job programs for wealthy failsons.

    • InvaderZinn [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      No really, I want to ask them: "What's their excuse?"

      There are either one out of two different scenarios:

      1. Most likely they aren't anything special themselves. Maybe they're cool on the internet, but they're not irl. If they're so great and better than everyone else, why are they so mediocre themselves?

      2. Maybe they do have an awesome life. What are they doing wasting life rubbing in their superiority towards us lowly rubes, anyway? Go enjoy your flawless life and ride off on your high horse Mr. Perfect.