When I was a kid, like mid single digits years old, every so often I would have this profound realization that I still find hard to put into words. It was like a sudden understanding of reality. You know how as humans we can work with the concept of infinity, but it's impossible to truly get the concept of neverendingness? This was like somehow grasping reality in a way that we should never be able to. To put it another way, I was like a fish who finally understood what water is. Or yet another way, it was like "zooming out" and getting a better sense of the big picture I was normally oblivious to.
There wasn't much too it beyond that. I could hang on to that feeling of for maybe a few minutes, just thinking "Wow, this is really real. I exist, my family exists, we're all alive and we do things" until something came along that demanded my attention.
I never thought about it that much until lost the ability to tap into it as I got older, and I don't know what to make of it now. If our reality can be understood in that particular way, are there other fabrics of being we can grasp? If that sensation was "hot", what would "cold" be? The ignorance I'm currently living in, or something else entirely?
i remember similar revelations when that age too. not much else but i remember that and also being in the crib and wondering if the world was a dream. seems the only way to bring back those feelings are with hallucinogens.
I had a realization when I was 6 that there's no evidence that anything else exists other than me because the only thing I've ever experienced is myself, and that everything I ever lived could be a dream and I could just be some random kid on a barren white space rock somewhere
Do you suppose that it was more to do with the obliviousness of youth, like now you don't have that big picture contrast feeling because you're more aware of the big picture's existence now?
I do think a big part was the relative simplicity of my life back then. I was blessed with a pretty easy, idyllic life until my parents split, after which things got much more complicated. Growing up fast and being immersed in that mundane complexity makes looking past everyday life very hard because everyday life demands more from you and you become more attached to it. I don't think I can uncouple myself from the material stakes of my existence without some kind of chemical intervention
When I was a kid, like mid single digits years old, every so often I would have this profound realization that I still find hard to put into words. It was like a sudden understanding of reality. You know how as humans we can work with the concept of infinity, but it's impossible to truly get the concept of neverendingness? This was like somehow grasping reality in a way that we should never be able to. To put it another way, I was like a fish who finally understood what water is. Or yet another way, it was like "zooming out" and getting a better sense of the big picture I was normally oblivious to.
There wasn't much too it beyond that. I could hang on to that feeling of for maybe a few minutes, just thinking "Wow, this is really real. I exist, my family exists, we're all alive and we do things" until something came along that demanded my attention.
I never thought about it that much until lost the ability to tap into it as I got older, and I don't know what to make of it now. If our reality can be understood in that particular way, are there other fabrics of being we can grasp? If that sensation was "hot", what would "cold" be? The ignorance I'm currently living in, or something else entirely?
i remember similar revelations when that age too. not much else but i remember that and also being in the crib and wondering if the world was a dream. seems the only way to bring back those feelings are with hallucinogens.
That's what I was thinking, might have to experiment and see what brings me back into weirdo brain zone
I had a realization when I was 6 that there's no evidence that anything else exists other than me because the only thing I've ever experienced is myself, and that everything I ever lived could be a dream and I could just be some random kid on a barren white space rock somewhere
just a brain in a jar cruising through the ether :vibin:
Do you suppose that it was more to do with the obliviousness of youth, like now you don't have that big picture contrast feeling because you're more aware of the big picture's existence now?
I do think a big part was the relative simplicity of my life back then. I was blessed with a pretty easy, idyllic life until my parents split, after which things got much more complicated. Growing up fast and being immersed in that mundane complexity makes looking past everyday life very hard because everyday life demands more from you and you become more attached to it. I don't think I can uncouple myself from the material stakes of my existence without some kind of chemical intervention