He's dead to me. I switch rapidly between hoping his zombifying body dies ASAP, and missing the person he was before Nazis brainwashed and stole him.
He was a shitty friend who gatekept random things, like listening to bands in his mid-twenties. Much due to toxic masculinity. I found him quite cringey. Now he's a Nazi.
Yet I mourn his cringe ass each day. A whole person was lost to Nazis. I'm cycling, and I need new outlooks on this situation to get out of this rut. My self care is suffering.
Not to Nazis and more of me going from Lib to Commie. But I do miss, an ex-gf & ex-friend who was a capitalist gusana. I loved her but once I realized I'm much more left than I had once thought and she was more right wing than I had thought I was heart broken. 2016 and Bernie's campaign both opened my eyes and cursed me. I do miss her occasionally, and on late 2020 we bump into one another and ended up losing like an hour just talking at the grocery had me miss her even more. Eventually the election was brought up and reality came back and I can't be someone that (albeit not insanely) into Trump. But that spark was still there, the laughs the relaxation was there but that politically and moral/principles are not.
Edit: If not obvious by use of gusana but she was cuban with parents who "escaped" Cuba to come to the states. Yet when Obama opened up her parents would fly over to get cheap medicine. Hypocrites.
It can feel surreal to observe otherwise lovely libs support ghoulish things. You wonder which ones you're losing slowly. It's a shame she has so many brainworms. I'm sorry you lost such a dear connection.
I don't think I'm heartbroken the way you're heartbroken, but I'm relieved to hear I'm not alone. I still lay glued to the floor sometimes missing this guy's face and voice. Blocking his social media where I rooted for him was like letting go of stars. I had to cry that one out.