Some of the more insane ones i've added to splashes[]:
"Autist to transfem pipeline confirmed by Moscow!" "Protagonist not guaranteed to be cis!" "Protagonist not guaranteed to be trans!" "The numbers mason, what do they mean?" "Doesn't report your chat!" "Includes glowing brown mushrooms!" "Sponsored by: Kirbys: Home of the broken blue light special!"
If you're running with that first one, here's one I've heard IRL:
"Based giga-autist Nick Land actually likes Deleuze."