So I got dumped in 2014. I discovered Bill Burr's You People Are All The Same standup routine, and for my broken hearted self then, it spoke to me. For those of you don't know, Burr jokes about women unable to have a rational argument, and using cheap debate tricks and emotional ploys to win arguments with men. Sorry, but the place I was in wasn't great. My thinking towards Burr in early 2015 was "OMG this guy is funny", late 2015 was "this is funny, but problematic", then in 2016 "OMG this guy is a fascist".
Another time I randomly found a dating app and profile on a girlfriend's phone when I was trying to connect her phone to the smart TV. There was a 45 minute space of time where I channeled all the hurt I ever felt in my past, and I started to think "yes all women are inherently selfish and deceitful". For that time, I was quite literally open to red-pill ideology. Thankfully I shook out of it. Having a support network to whinge about my pain helped too.
One bazillion percent, the dudes in my life have been worse than the women. Long term misogyny seems impossible.
I definitely flew close to the sun. I was big into New Atheism and genetic determinism and evolutionary psychology when I joined the military, and in another universe I would have gone full fascist by the time I left it - but talking to actual lefties in the Bernie 2016 campaign was like a panacea to all of that. I still have a lot of what I now consider to be intrusive thoughts where I'll think some fucking shit that 4chan implanted in my head when I browsed it a lot as a teenager, I dunno if there's a way to stop that from happening though.
Military, 4chan....Geez there's a fucking minefield of things for kids to have to walk through these days to not make it out emotionally crippled. I'm honestly glad you're sane.
your first thought isn't what defines you. it's what you do with that and how you act. I'm still instinctively repulsed by some things that a bigot would open their mouth about but you'd never know it being around me and i'm just not trying to watch my friends in those groups do whatever they do in bed.
obviously it's better for yourself if you're not tempted to be screaming racial slurs or whatever all the time, but developing that filter and being better than you were raised or conditioned in spite of the indoctrination is part of character.