https://www.salon.com/2022/11/06/why-are-so-many-young-people-are-having-less-and-fewer-friendships/
[F]ar-right figures [...] have painted this phenomenon as a crisis of masculinity (even though under-35 women seem to having equally little sex).
Nearly 60 years ago, C. Wright Mills encouraged that we understand this kind of aggregated social data not as the result of personal failings, but as public issues that can be explained by looking to larger historical and structural relationships. When we look at other data points like the graph below, we find that it is not merely sexual relationships that are on the decline, but also friendships. This, from a sociological standpoint, reveals that there is something larger going on here. Untangling it means we must look at the at the larger economic, cultural, and political changes.
[A] bleak outlook brought on by economic conditions, changing social norms as a result of new communications technologies, and just simply feeling as though one doesn't have enough time to invest in their personal relationships. Thus, if we really do see this as a serious issue, then we need to make changes at a variety of levels.
Now that we’re all having casual sex we’ve discovered that it wasn’t the sex that was cool, it was the deep emotional intimacy of connecting with your fellow man and sex was just a fun way of expressing that. Sex is still fun, one night stands kinda blow (lol)
yeah, I feel like I've kind of reached that point. I was very late to dating and sex, and I was extremely jealous of everyone that was out there having sex. Now, after being married and having had sex constantly, I still have a strong sex drive, but it's really just a biological need, almost like sleep. I'm starting to date again, and I really don't care whether I have sex with the people I end up dating. What I want is emotional intimacy, the company, someone who can make me laugh, etc.
how old are you?
I'm in my 30s
I used to be really insecure when I heard about other guys hooking up with this girl and that girl, because I never did anything like that and it made me feel inadequate.
But over the years I realized that it wasn't because girls didn't want to hook up with me, because they did. I've had girls all but throw themselves at me, yet I never acted on it. Part of that was insecurity, sure, but I also just can't imagine myself spending an entire night and morning with a person I'm not really interested in outside of their body.
But because societal standards are ingrained into our monkey brains, while I don't feel as inadequate about it anymore as I used, I'd be lying if I said it didn't still affect me. Idk man.
I feel the same way. But no girls throw themselves at me. I don't think I will ever have the opportunity.
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No, no, I assure you sex is actually really cool. But a lot of people don't develop the skill for whatever reason, even if they're physically capable. It's like, idk, cooking. If you don't put the time and effort in to get good at it you're not going to be impressed with the results. But if you do put the time and effort in you can make things that will make your brain short-circuit while it tries to process the taste, and then you'll get this dumb glazed look in your eyes when your brain is just like "idk what the fuck is going on but I think the correct response is endorphins".
Like not everyone orgasms, and not everyone enjoys sex with strangers, but it is entirely possible to get someone to cum hard enough that they lose control of their body and can't speak coherently for several minutes. That's a real thing that some people experience.
And if you're young or reasonably fit and you want to, there's no particular reason you can't do that for like eight hours straight until you're badly dehydrated and too weak to move.
"Mind blowing sex" isn't just a metaphor, you can get to all kinds of weird altered states during sex. Or at least some people can. Like, the experience of sex varies wildly from person to person even before you factor in things like religious trauma and whatever else.
Look I've fucked before, you're not explaining a new concept to me here. I'm just saying sex is the best when you're actively communicating with your partner to fulfill their and your needs and most people don't do that with strangers for plenty of reasons usually tied up to larger sociopolitical issues, hence https://hexbear.net/post/232087/comment/2967151. If you want to make someone's leg shake you should be asking them what they like and doing that. And saying sex is a skill is like saying fitness is a skill, are you really hitting all those muscle groups? You down to suck a toe? My partners like different things and, in my experience, hookup culture ends in too many faked orgasms because people don't communicate. Commodifying sex, which is what apps like tinder do imo, sucks and makes it worse.
I guess I'm making a weird esoteric point here that sex is great and all but just kind of a thing you do and what actually makes it great is the almost spiritual connection you share with someone when you do it really well for each other? Like fucking is the vessel for the shared humanity between individuals and amazing orgasms are how you breach that wall and momentarily shed the confines of your own individuality? I'm asking sincerely if that makes sense. I sometimes feel like that eating a really amazing meal, like it nihilates the ego and you feel connected to something larger. idk if that makes sense, the other day I came at the same time my two partners did and it felt like I saw god so maybe that's just me
I think that this is woo.
But I also literally never feel this sensation, in any context, in relation to any other person, or material article in my life. So IDK; but it doesn't sound like a thing.
Probably. In my mind it's the chemical sensation of [science] happening in your head that you experience as spirituality. Durkheim's theory of religious formation is that at the core of religious feeling is a social moment of effervescence in which the individuals experience themselves as the social organism/imagine god into being. It's very outdated writing and almost sounds like mysticism but I think effervescence is a true description of a more materially explainable brain chemical reaction. People experience this sensation while experimenting with drugs and pushing emotional highs - like feeling extreme closeness with a loved one - and it makes sense to me that our brains are wired eusocially otherwise I wouldn't be invested in this commie shit. Kropotkin and mutual aid here. And so this feeling of effervescence becomes a feeling of largeness, connectedness that people describe as religious feeling. First chapter of civilization and its discontents by Freud speculates a bit on the psychology behind this feeling, ofc he says its daddy issues, which, maybe. And so in a modern industrial era, man is further atomized and alienated away from his fellow man and this eusocial effervescence and thus Nietzsche is right and god is dead. Also Durkheim's work on suicide in early industrial cities which inspired him to go do the research into religion. He'd argue that the current crisis of atomization, and the dearth of this spiritual connectedness, is at the heart of the epidemic of deaths of despair we're currently experiencing. calling my shot on a third great awakening to fill the power vacuum or maybe the rebirth of micro-cults if things really start collapsing fast
IDK, I think I could live in a micro-cult if they'd take me.
unironically experienced 3rd impact
:doomjak: I'm fat and this make me kinda wanna die tbh
sounds lame tbh
Not when you finish in their mouth
cope