https://www.salon.com/2022/11/06/why-are-so-many-young-people-are-having-less-and-fewer-friendships/
[F]ar-right figures [...] have painted this phenomenon as a crisis of masculinity (even though under-35 women seem to having equally little sex).
Nearly 60 years ago, C. Wright Mills encouraged that we understand this kind of aggregated social data not as the result of personal failings, but as public issues that can be explained by looking to larger historical and structural relationships. When we look at other data points like the graph below, we find that it is not merely sexual relationships that are on the decline, but also friendships. This, from a sociological standpoint, reveals that there is something larger going on here. Untangling it means we must look at the at the larger economic, cultural, and political changes.
[A] bleak outlook brought on by economic conditions, changing social norms as a result of new communications technologies, and just simply feeling as though one doesn't have enough time to invest in their personal relationships. Thus, if we really do see this as a serious issue, then we need to make changes at a variety of levels.
not true, I'm having the exact amount of sex I was having before
Proudly and confidently declaring I had 100 times as much sex this year as I had last year and taking no further questions
Women in East Germany had twice as many orgasms as women in West Germany.
The reason is likely to be how AES societies promotes gender equality and removes material stressors like poverty, unemployment or the threat thereof. Likewise, AES societies are noted for promoting a sense of community and solidarity which can only have formed a much better base for developing personal relations than the alienated and competitive society created by capitalism.
For the people reading the above comment and wanting to know more: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39089024-why-women-have-better-sex-under-socialism
Also check out the authors podcast on Alexandra Kollontai, OG Marxist feminist
It's 100% because with full child care, easily affordable housing, 100% employment job gaurantees, and many other programs that gave women complete financial freedom and independence they had no incentive to stay with a partner who sucked. If they wanted to leave they never had to stay in the relationship because they couldn't afford to move out. They never needed to stay together for the sake of the kids because childcare was free and excellent, there were extensive social and cultural programs for kids of all ages. Women could work full time jobs and they knew their kids would be well taken care of. And if they didn't want kids they could get an abortion.
Basically all the economic shit that keeps people in the US in miserable and abusive relationships was solved in East Germany so women were free to only shack up with people they genuinely liked and wanted to be with.
THERE HAS BEEN A FUCKING PLAGUE GOING FOR LIKE 3 YEARS NO SHIT PEOPLE ARENT FUCKING YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLES SHUT THE FUCK UP
It's been going down since 2008. It was already way down before the pandemic started. There is a graph in the article.
Oh, interesting. 2008 was the start of a massive economic downturn and a huge dropoff in expendable income. Still easy to chart to the wealthy fucking everything up, but I guess that’s the point.
liberals are like the blind men groping the elephant. always naming effects of capitalism without understanding the whole
You'll have to pry my virginity from my cold, dead hands you bougie libs :screm2:
New bit: deliberately make the world as shitty as possible and then ask the youths why they're not bangin:troll:
Sigma male rule #6969 : cant lose NNN if you have no time for sex #Grustle
Its the opposite of a lack of experience.
I've had plenty of sex with a variety of women and while I do still enjoy sex with my lady I have no clue why I worked so had to sleep with women in my 20s. Sex is fun and feels good and whatever but it is way overrated.
Honestly I would rather never have sex again than have to find a new partner.
You just need to find a partner that is into mixing the two.
George Costanza vindicated as the ideal male partner
Huh, during my time with my partner, I'd forget to eat, or rather wouldn't want to take the break.
Look I don't want to be rude, and your preferences are valid and all, but I've never lost control of my legs and become unable to speak coherently for ten minutes because I had a really good salad.
Hey fucko why don't you go brag about what great sex you're having somewhere else
The rest of us are fucking miserable
Now that we’re all having casual sex we’ve discovered that it wasn’t the sex that was cool, it was the deep emotional intimacy of connecting with your fellow man and sex was just a fun way of expressing that. Sex is still fun, one night stands kinda blow (lol)
yeah, I feel like I've kind of reached that point. I was very late to dating and sex, and I was extremely jealous of everyone that was out there having sex. Now, after being married and having had sex constantly, I still have a strong sex drive, but it's really just a biological need, almost like sleep. I'm starting to date again, and I really don't care whether I have sex with the people I end up dating. What I want is emotional intimacy, the company, someone who can make me laugh, etc.
I used to be really insecure when I heard about other guys hooking up with this girl and that girl, because I never did anything like that and it made me feel inadequate.
But over the years I realized that it wasn't because girls didn't want to hook up with me, because they did. I've had girls all but throw themselves at me, yet I never acted on it. Part of that was insecurity, sure, but I also just can't imagine myself spending an entire night and morning with a person I'm not really interested in outside of their body.
But because societal standards are ingrained into our monkey brains, while I don't feel as inadequate about it anymore as I used, I'd be lying if I said it didn't still affect me. Idk man.
I feel the same way. But no girls throw themselves at me. I don't think I will ever have the opportunity.
No, no, I assure you sex is actually really cool. But a lot of people don't develop the skill for whatever reason, even if they're physically capable. It's like, idk, cooking. If you don't put the time and effort in to get good at it you're not going to be impressed with the results. But if you do put the time and effort in you can make things that will make your brain short-circuit while it tries to process the taste, and then you'll get this dumb glazed look in your eyes when your brain is just like "idk what the fuck is going on but I think the correct response is endorphins".
Like not everyone orgasms, and not everyone enjoys sex with strangers, but it is entirely possible to get someone to cum hard enough that they lose control of their body and can't speak coherently for several minutes. That's a real thing that some people experience.
And if you're young or reasonably fit and you want to, there's no particular reason you can't do that for like eight hours straight until you're badly dehydrated and too weak to move.
"Mind blowing sex" isn't just a metaphor, you can get to all kinds of weird altered states during sex. Or at least some people can. Like, the experience of sex varies wildly from person to person even before you factor in things like religious trauma and whatever else.
Look I've fucked before, you're not explaining a new concept to me here. I'm just saying sex is the best when you're actively communicating with your partner to fulfill their and your needs and most people don't do that with strangers for plenty of reasons usually tied up to larger sociopolitical issues, hence https://hexbear.net/post/232087/comment/2967151. If you want to make someone's leg shake you should be asking them what they like and doing that. And saying sex is a skill is like saying fitness is a skill, are you really hitting all those muscle groups? You down to suck a toe? My partners like different things and, in my experience, hookup culture ends in too many faked orgasms because people don't communicate. Commodifying sex, which is what apps like tinder do imo, sucks and makes it worse.
I guess I'm making a weird esoteric point here that sex is great and all but just kind of a thing you do and what actually makes it great is the almost spiritual connection you share with someone when you do it really well for each other? Like fucking is the vessel for the shared humanity between individuals and amazing orgasms are how you breach that wall and momentarily shed the confines of your own individuality? I'm asking sincerely if that makes sense. I sometimes feel like that eating a really amazing meal, like it nihilates the ego and you feel connected to something larger. idk if that makes sense, the other day I came at the same time my two partners did and it felt like I saw god so maybe that's just me
Like fucking is the vessel for the shared humanity between individuals and amazing orgasms are how you breach that wall and momentarily shed the confines of your own individuality? I’m asking sincerely if that makes sense.
I think that this is woo.
But I also literally never feel this sensation, in any context, in relation to any other person, or material article in my life. So IDK; but it doesn't sound like a thing.
Probably. In my mind it's the chemical sensation of [science] happening in your head that you experience as spirituality. Durkheim's theory of religious formation is that at the core of religious feeling is a social moment of effervescence in which the individuals experience themselves as the social organism/imagine god into being. It's very outdated writing and almost sounds like mysticism but I think effervescence is a true description of a more materially explainable brain chemical reaction. People experience this sensation while experimenting with drugs and pushing emotional highs - like feeling extreme closeness with a loved one - and it makes sense to me that our brains are wired eusocially otherwise I wouldn't be invested in this commie shit. Kropotkin and mutual aid here. And so this feeling of effervescence becomes a feeling of largeness, connectedness that people describe as religious feeling. First chapter of civilization and its discontents by Freud speculates a bit on the psychology behind this feeling, ofc he says its daddy issues, which, maybe. And so in a modern industrial era, man is further atomized and alienated away from his fellow man and this eusocial effervescence and thus Nietzsche is right and god is dead. Also Durkheim's work on suicide in early industrial cities which inspired him to go do the research into religion. He'd argue that the current crisis of atomization, and the dearth of this spiritual connectedness, is at the heart of the epidemic of deaths of despair we're currently experiencing. calling my shot on a third great awakening to fill the power vacuum or maybe the rebirth of micro-cults if things really start collapsing fast
IDK, I think I could live in a micro-cult if they'd take me.
I guess I’m making a weird esoteric point here that sex is great and all but just kind of a thing you do and what actually makes it great is the almost spiritual connection you share with someone when you do it really well for each other? Like fucking is the vessel for the shared humanity between individuals and amazing orgasms are how you breach that wall and momentarily shed the confines of your own individuality? I’m asking sincerely if that makes sense. I sometimes feel like that eating a really amazing meal, like it nihilates the ego and you feel connected to something larger. idk if that makes sense, the other day I came at the same time my two partners did and it felt like I saw god so maybe that’s just me
unironically experienced 3rd impact
it was the deep emotional intimacy of connecting with your fellow man
sounds lame tbh
To be fair, the vast majority of things are overrated.
I think there’s a bit of burnout from the “sex positivity” of the early 00s
I still don't know what sex positivity people are talking about.
its the positivity that people indeed do need to have sex for babies to be made
A date costs $40 minimum, and that is a matinee with 2 tall boys each.
When I was finishing up my undergrad in the mid aughts $40 would buy two tickets to a punk show and some decent pints.
The cheapest punk show that I've seen near me in ages was $25 a ticket. I feel sorry for folks who will grow old alone because of this.
In the modern world there are enough comfortably middle class and wealthy people that society can orientate itself around them entirely
Apparently somewhere between 40-50% of all small businesses in the US were unable to pay rent last month. So I'm not sure that the middle class and the rich can even keep things running anymore.
somewhere between 40-50% of all small businesses in the US were unable to pay rent last month.
source? what could the actual effects of this be? I don't see 50% of small business being closed down as we speak
nowdays some young men are straight up refusing to even engage with women in real life.
That's MGTOW, not pickup artist. Pick up artists, MGTOWS, and Red Pillers and MRAs all started on the same path but took different forks in the road. They all acknowledge the societal dissonance between what society says a man should be, and what a man needs to be. Pick up artists see the dissonance and become what is really successful with women and not what society says they should be to be successful (to the extreme). MGTOWs see it and remove themselves from the equation because they don't see a way to win. Red Pillers were men that society said they should be, but got tired of never seeing the promised success that was supposed to come from that, so they work to become the ideal man that succeeds. MRAs seek to change the system so that it actually returns on its promises of equality.
MRAs seek to change the system, Red Pillers and Pick up Artists adapt to the system in place in their own ways to succeed, and MGTOWs rage quit the whole thing.
It is PUAs who are the new phenomenon. Incels have always existed. The internet enabled all these men to get together and start exchanging ideas which led to the PUA "movement". Loser men who can't get laid have been with us since the dawn of time.
If young people were actually able to freely communicate about how discontent they were with life and get an ideological structure to understand the causes of that
It's absolutely soul-destroying that capitalism has won so hard that even that is essentially an impossibility at this point. I honestly think Capitalism has won (even if that victory ensures human extinction), if young people's attention is still too captured and are unable to even imagine any counter movement at this point in time, what hope will there ever be?
A date costs $40 minimum
Can you even get a meal and a drink for 20$? Certainly not in urban Minneapolis, at least not anywhere that serves alcohol and food.
$6-8 for a solo burger here anywhere 5+ miles out of downtown or near the airports at happy hour. Fries are $5+, because of our local shit summer season for potatoes - usually $3-4.
$3-4 a tall boy.
The US is also cheating because of the Mississippi River basin the largest uninterrupted area of agricultural land in the world.
Food in the US because of massive labor repression in restaurants is also cheaper. Half of American waiters make ~$2.50 + tips.
Im toronto the takeout places the are like $12 entree +$5 side. Actual sitdown restaurants for under $30 per person is basically impossible. Even going to fucking mcdicks for less than $10 is becoming impossible. All of this before the $4 cans of piss. It's insane
A date costs $40 minimum, and that is a matinee with 2 tall boys each.
I wish people would just hang out or go for a walk instead of mandatory DiNnEr dAtEs or getting drunk
you know how laboratory mice get when you do weird experiments on them? how they don't want to socialize and breed with their fellow rats? Yeah it's basically like that but on societal scale.
John B. Calhoun and the real Rats of N.I.M.H. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kqti3tDz-M
Fascinating research that predicted the rise of hypersexuality, sociopathic elites, gamer losers, incels and ultimately the end, as young rats didn't learn courtship behaviors and could not breed. The really horrifying part: Afterwards the rats never again could reenter healthy society, even when taken out and introduced to normal rats.
We can debate whether having less sex is a bad thing but the fewer friends part can't be good.
We can debate whether having less sex is a bad thing
you gotta be really fucked up to think it's not a bad thing.
Sigma Male Rule #420 : Less sex = more time for the #Grind #5to9Grustle
Everyone is hot but no one is getting laid. If only Marx had thought of the "thot dialectic"
Proper editors and fact checkers are the first to get cut from these sites.
