The number one thing to remember that transmasc folks are fighting the same battles as transfem folks. They're fighting to become the real them just like transfem folks and their battles are just as harsh and difficult as ours. There's nothing wrong with them, they just want to embrace what you're moving away from.
Reminds me of a story when I was in the hospital for the first few days of post-op. I had a nurse that was a trasmasc man. He was a fun guy and we had a lot of great conversations. And even though he 100% looks like a man, his co-workers would constantly misgender him and I felt fucking awful for him. He's fighting the exact same battles as myself and I feel a strong connection to that even though I'm moving the opposite direction.
They’re definitely similarly difficult but transfemme people and transmasc people have vastly different forms of oppression they experience (though they share the same thread of transphobia that affects them both). Whipping Girl talked about this; Transmasc people deal with being erased and their desires are outright ignored most of the time, but their ultimate goal (being a man) is societally seen as normal and desirable if people manage to get past that (though of course you still get tons of weirdos saying it’s bad because transphobes are Like That). Related but opposite, transfemme people are often heard and visible, but their goal is seen as insane and questionable (wanting to be a woman). Femininity and especially womanhood is seen as strange and weird to desire being. So both transfemme and transmasc people experience the sheer inhumanity of having their very sanity questioned, but it manifests in ways that are different enough that I imagine some degree of confusion and even bitterness at each other is somewhat “normal”. This doesn’t make it good, of course; We should focus our anger to punch up, instead of being angry at people who are just as fucked over as us. But it does make it easier to recontextualize and rationalize our emotions.
The number one thing to remember that transmasc folks are fighting the same battles as transfem folks. They're fighting to become the real them just like transfem folks and their battles are just as harsh and difficult as ours. There's nothing wrong with them, they just want to embrace what you're moving away from.
Reminds me of a story when I was in the hospital for the first few days of post-op. I had a nurse that was a trasmasc man. He was a fun guy and we had a lot of great conversations. And even though he 100% looks like a man, his co-workers would constantly misgender him and I felt fucking awful for him. He's fighting the exact same battles as myself and I feel a strong connection to that even though I'm moving the opposite direction.
I'll try to.
That is horrible. I hate people sometimes.
They’re definitely similarly difficult but transfemme people and transmasc people have vastly different forms of oppression they experience (though they share the same thread of transphobia that affects them both). Whipping Girl talked about this; Transmasc people deal with being erased and their desires are outright ignored most of the time, but their ultimate goal (being a man) is societally seen as normal and desirable if people manage to get past that (though of course you still get tons of weirdos saying it’s bad because transphobes are Like That). Related but opposite, transfemme people are often heard and visible, but their goal is seen as insane and questionable (wanting to be a woman). Femininity and especially womanhood is seen as strange and weird to desire being. So both transfemme and transmasc people experience the sheer inhumanity of having their very sanity questioned, but it manifests in ways that are different enough that I imagine some degree of confusion and even bitterness at each other is somewhat “normal”. This doesn’t make it good, of course; We should focus our anger to punch up, instead of being angry at people who are just as fucked over as us. But it does make it easier to recontextualize and rationalize our emotions.