it's probably not actually armor, just tacticool to affirm the pig's masculinity.

It's called a side by side or a utv, last I've seen one it was used by groundskeepers at the elementary school you can also off road with them.

can't walk for more than 2 minutes or something?

That's for tactically ascertaining the fairway

It's a UTV. We use them for medical transport at Burning Man too (though they don't look dumb as shit like that one) because they do better than cars in tight crowded spaces and off-road.

ACAB, but my Tonka-loving inner child wants this. It's just so dorky.