Also, literally who cares. This isn't politics. Zoomers and millenials are very left-wing and that hasn't changer significantly in recent years. This isn't happening at scales that are shifting the political landscape. Idk why there is an obsession with this shit.

  • fratsarerats [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Yeah honestly the PUA stuff is pretty solid advice as long as it's not using shaky evo-psych to justify it or any other red pill stuff. Like a straight cis young man should know how to navigate various social interactions in life, whether it's interacting with your grandmother or that girl you think is cute sitting next to you in the library.

    If you wanna "shoot your shot" (so to speak) then there's gotta be some advice on how to do it. A lot of the lib twitter feminist space (usually also TERFy) will tell young men that "you should meet a nice girl" while at the same time telling them "don't approach a woman at a coffee shop or library cuz they don't wanna be bothered." So where does a guy go? To a noisy club or bar filled with superficial people? Honestly it's like they're talking out of both sides of their mouth. I'd venture to say that real women won't be too bothered being approached in a coffee shop or library (or any other non-bar/club area) as long as you don't approach in a "weird/creepy" way and the overall interaction is fun and adds to their day positively. Even if they're in a committed and healthy relationship, a nice interaction is just that, a nice interaction.

    • CthulhusIntern [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Even if they use evopsych reasoning, it's often right, but they're wrong about why it works. Like, one example I like to use is in the Mystery Method, the reader is told that, if they're attracted to a woman with a group of her friends, to talk to all of her friends as well. He says it's because it will make her jealous, because he views all relationships as adversarial, but it's actually good advice, because if her friends approve of you, she's likely to as well, and she wants to not be separated from her friends, so she'll enjoy talking to you AND her friends. Plus, you make more friends.

    • invalidusernamelol [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      The coffee shop/library thing is questionable, and avoid flirting with your waitress or bartender unless you're someone they know or are in the same local service community and have some connection there. You can socialize at the same spots, but flirting on shift can be a bit aggressive and you're gonna get weird signals because their job is to be the smiling face so they can't tell you to fuck off and they also can't leave because they need to.

      If you do want to do want to "make a move" in a situation like that, always open with smalltalk, give a compliment, and move on. If you hover, stare, or push then it becomes a problem.

      If you're taking about patrons in these places that's different, they can leave and aren't bound by their employment contract to be nice. So you can lead with smalltalk, and just go from there.

      Also smalltalk and compliments aren't code for discussing appearance, a compliment could just be "nailing it with the matching bag and shoes" as opposed to "your very beautiful" and smalltalk should be situational at first with stuff like "maybe one day we'll be out of this line" or "have you ever read Das Capital Volume 1 by Karl Marx?" you know, keep it light and inoffensive.

      • fratsarerats [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        They just want to hurt men. Why would they deliberately give men good advice?

        I don't claim to read their minds but I think a lot of them genuinely do want to help men in dating, but are operating from the wrong paradigm. For the ones that aren't, I mean even complete ghouls can give good advice, e.g. do some pushups.