I've had an old habit of veering towards "stomach flu", as you're not expected to have symptoms after you get better. Also IF your boss randomly asks for a doctor's note, the doctor isn't going to stick a finger in your butt to make sure that you, in fact, have diarrhea. And the doctor is likely just going to give you the note.
My problem is that :im-vegan:, so when I'm constantly calling in for stomach bugs, my workmates are always saying "I thought you guys don't get stomach parasites". Also I'm literally the most covid paranoid person I know IRL, N95 mask everywhere and eating in my classroom alone, with windows open if possible. So it's a lot less likely that I'm going to get a cold or the flu.
So what am I going to do next time I need a lie-in? Say I broke a rib? UTI? Aggressive acne?
As few details as possible, if they push me on I just say it's coming out both ends even if it's not the reason. Also sometimes I'd hit my vape and hold it while I'm on the phone so my voice sounds a little fucked up, but that's only really if I'm faking it