I've had an old habit of veering towards "stomach flu", as you're not expected to have symptoms after you get better. Also IF your boss randomly asks for a doctor's note, the doctor isn't going to stick a finger in your butt to make sure that you, in fact, have diarrhea. And the doctor is likely just going to give you the note.

My problem is that :im-vegan:, so when I'm constantly calling in for stomach bugs, my workmates are always saying "I thought you guys don't get stomach parasites". Also I'm literally the most covid paranoid person I know IRL, N95 mask everywhere and eating in my classroom alone, with windows open if possible. So it's a lot less likely that I'm going to get a cold or the flu.

So what am I going to do next time I need a lie-in? Say I broke a rib? UTI? Aggressive acne?