I linked this in a thread earlier, but I had to make a separate post about it
There's so much to love about this video. The endlessly looping music that sounds like it's from a Western, the crunchy as FUCK bitcrushed sound effects and most importantly, the endless different uses this magical shovel has
It's a fucking grappling hook too???! :lenin-pogger:
Over a decade later and I still want one of these things
this has adult swim energy, the way it just keeps going forever adding more and more functions to the goddamn shovel is fucking hilarious
Ok, I didn't think I'd laugh this much watching a shovel demonstration
Five different ways of digging.
You can chop your potatoes with it!
It's basically a crane.
You can row a rubber dinghy with two of em!In the precursor to that dinghy scene, I thought they were going to use it to vault that gap or maybe the two of them would lock shovels and he would drag him out of the water.
Also, the shot with that guy falling in the water is either a setup to show a reason to use the dinghy or it's explaining why the guy in the dinghy gets to have two shovels now.
I thought he was going to set it down like a bridge and walk on top of it
bro they're shoestring cutting fucking potatoes with a trench shovel I fucking love this
I kinda think these amazing feats are less due to the shovels than the shovel demonstators being wizards
Yo it's got a fucking hammer head on it and makes the shovel ring every time you whack a nail with it!
That's a feature I didn't even get with my hammer, not even when I hit my anvil instead of whatever I'm aiming for.
That's a fancy tool I tell you.
Hexbear:
:geordi-no: US military tactical shovel as seen on TV
:geordi-yes: Chinese tactical shovel as seen on TV
The Western music really makes this and the 2006 youtube sound quality :marx-ok:
That guy squatting and drinking a beer he just opened his with shovel
i'm imagining this is the product of China's version of the F-35 project, except they actually got their money's worth
gonna get my mom one for her garden
just got to the "shield" part :data-laughing:
You can't do this to me. There goes $65. This epic bacon Amazon review is what sold me on it
spoiler
It is expensive, and if you're just looking for a folding shovel it probably isn't worth the money.
But all of the other features on this tool make it something more than just a shovel. Its primary functions are as a shovel, a pick, a saw, a hatchet, and of course a grappling hook (ok.. that one may not be legit, but it has a lock position for it).
I used the shovel / pick function to dig out some very rocky soil to set down a metal frame. It worked as well as any short shovel would have. the sharpened edge really helped to get under the rocks as opposed to just hitting them and stopping.
I had a small tree limb come down on a road that I was traveling and was not able to pass. The only thing I had in my trunk at the time was my CWS. I got to test the saw and hatchet on the limb. It was about 5 inches thick with some offshoots that were 3 inches thick. The hatchet worked pretty well to chop the thinner offshoots, and to start a notch to cut the larger one with the saw. It wasn't fast, and neither feature worked as well as a dedicated tool, but they did get the job done.
After my limited use, the shovel is still in excellent condition. No nicks in the edges, and the finish was still in almost new condition. The locking mechanism is very sturdy, the handle is light but strong, and none of the extra functions get in the way of using it as a shovel.
...and then....
On my way back home after the dispaching the limb blocking my path, I was set upon by a band of ninjas. I tried fending them off using the shield function, but they were simply too much for me. I set the shovel to grappling hook mode and escaped. I found an abandoned boat with no motor or oars. The ninjas were quickly making their way toward me, so I set off on the boat. Ninjas can't cross water, so I was safe for now.
Adrift for several hours, I saw another ship. I thought that my salvation had arived, so I used my trusty shovel to paddle to the the new ship. That was about when they saw me... and I saw the black flag they were flying. Out of the frying pan, into the pirates. I couldn't possibly paddle quick enough to escape, at least not with only one shovel, as the priates had a strong headwind.
I took stock of what I had and set to work. I used the shovel to pry some of the planks from the boat up, the edge of the hatchet to cut my shirt into 2 pieces, and the hammer to assemble them into a sail. I bought some time, but not enough.
With the pirates catching up, and the ninjas still on the beach, I had only one option. I used my shovel as a rudder for my small craft and steered straight at the ninjas. It was a risky move, but it was my only option. Ninjas and pirates are mortal enemies. My plan worked - The pirates saw the ninjas and attacked. Both had forgotten about me becasue of the impending battle. When the pirates went on shore, I steered my dingy to the side of their ship and grappled up.
I set sail for my new life at sea. The wire cutter function allowed me to get into the cage that contained all of the pirates supplies. I used the bottle opener to open a bottle of pirate ale, the can opener to open the rations. Once I was fed, I realized that the ninjas had significantly damaged the ship. The wrench functions were all I needed to repair most of the ship.
Utilizing the ruler function, I ploted a course to a port with free WIFI. Going to an unknown port was a risk, but I needed to share my story about the Wonder Shovel.
I see that there is a small island on the pirate map that appears to be uninhabited. One of the pirates journals refers to it as zombie island. If I discover any more uses for the shovel when I get to the Island, I will try to come back to port to post them.
If I could give this shovel 6 stars, I would.
This won China the second cold war before it even kicked off :mao-aggro-shining:
