https://twitter.com/guardianscience/status/1792567605401936091
My balls are so full and heavy with plastic I'm shooting out hot liquid g.i. joes every time I coom.
I got you fam!
This will only hurt once... But damn will it hurt! Afterwards you do me, yeah?
Just use science to turn skin cells into gametes. We can't do it with humans now but if we were going to go extinct, we'd figure it out.
New Monty python song "every flake is sacred, dandruff is good. If a scrape is wasted, God gets quite irate."
How do they know? No one's checked mine. Can yall have someone sent over?
You don't get regular visits from your neighborhood ball and penis inspector?
Brace yourselves for some concern trolling about fertility rates
What if a mutation occurs and the plastic becomes part of the baby’s DNA making him extremely flexible and immortal
Has plastic surgery gone too far??
No, but seriously, microplastics are horrifying.
When everyone's balls fill up with plastics, we'll invent time travel, and send them back in time to be used as super bouncy balls. That's where those come from. It's very important that we keep polluting the environment with microplastics to preserve the stable time loop.