This puts most of the badposting here to shame oh my god it sounds like my personal hell

Please appropriately tag agile manifesto-adjacent posts for PTSD purposes

Congratulations you double-tapped me with Agile and 1000+ page forum wars.

I'm going to kill uncle bob

I want someone to write this up as an essay and post it on RedSails

In an era of rapid technological advancement and shifting global landscapes, the ability to adapt and respond to change has become a crucial determinant of success for organizations and nations alike. One approach that has gained significant traction in recent years is the Agile Scrum methodology, a framework for project management that emphasizes flexibility, collaboration, and continuous improvement. However, while Agile Scrum has been widely adopted in the context of software development and other iterative projects, its applicability to more traditional, long-term planning initiatives has been less extensively explored. This essay seeks to address this gap, examining the potential benefits and challenges of applying Agile Scrum principles to the implementation of five-year plans, those sweeping, top-down initiatives aimed at driving transformational change. By exploring the theoretical underpinnings of Agile Scrum and its synergies with the goals and objectives of five-year plans, we may uncover new insights into the effective management of complex, large-scale projects, and shed light on the possibilities for more adaptive, responsive, and successful strategic planning in the years to come.

(four Wikipedia articles later)

That would literally happen though

Wow I haven't had to think about scrum in ages.

What a pile of garbage.

Making me think about scrums on my day off?

If communism doesn't save us from entirely worthless scrumlord project managers, I welcome Posadism

You think Stalin was cool?

Turns out he was a big fan of waterfall.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. That's agile being applied to anything but software dev.

Even in software, the efficacy of this system is basically limited to small teams, because the planning overhead will only go up as teams grow larger. You also need people actually interested in actually maintaining the system as intended, which especially from the leadership side is rare.

But what Agile scrum needs to work in the first place is two-week goals. You know, "Get feature A done by next week Friday" kinda goals. Those aren't even slightly applicable to most jobs.

ʇ̴͔̽̄̚s̵͕̒̾͋o̸̩̮̿d̴̦̀ͅ ̵̰̗͋͘͜p̸̝̫̈͋O̷̡̘̗͋O̸̺͆פ̴̬̟̍̊͋

I'm honestly conflicted with the Agile crap, I can definitely find positive sides to implementing it for socialism. What really makes it bullshit in my day to day is when POs obsess over it and end up missing the whole point because the burndown chart is not going as they'd like and even start wasting time on modifying the story points to paint a better image of the team.

Otherwise I can see how it would improve productivity overall and keep things accounted for. Getting rid of the profit motive would improve Agile as well I bet.

Scrums are fun, shitty product owners aren't.

Shit managers make it worse.