Because if there's one thing I love more than advertisements, it's advertisements with fucking wojaks.
There's something so dystopian about corporations making memes in a way I can't articulate
Reality is a simulation coded by an increasingly unhinged Paul Verhoeven.
Like a malevolent space alien trying and failing to take on a convincing human form
The franchise wars of 2023 started when Jimmy Johns called Wendy's cringe and Wendy's responded with a soyjak, eventually leading to the nuclear exchange between the USA and China in 2024 :very-smart:
This shot straight to the top of the list of my favorite world-ending scenarios.
Didn't Snow Crash have such militant pizza delivery that it lead to dystopia?
:theory-gary: Taco Bell eventually won the franchise wars.
It's really disgusting the way that ads have steadily evolved to be as hard to tell apart from regular content as possible until you've already started to read them. It's like the snake with the bait tail.
A comrade worked at Jimmy John's for a while, and he told me the most annoying part was teenagers walking passed the front, opening the door, sniffing loudly, and shouting "FREE SMELLS!"
Now that's all I can think about when Jimmy John's comes up.
I used to joke that they would call the cops for trespassing if you went in only for the free smells
Is Jimmy John's the one with the CEO who loves shooting African game, or the one that made employees sign a non-compete clause that they wouldn't work at another food service job if they quit?
I also love how they apparently won't say "virgin", so this becomes a bad Mashup of "virgin vs Chad" and "average x fan vs. average Y enjoyer".
If Jimmy John's was fun, they'd make the virgin enjoy the sandwich they're advertising and the chad having never had it.
"Jimmy John's? What the fuck is that? Too busy protein maxing over here bruv."
The last time my taste buds went to Italy they were hit on incessantly by older men and their luggage arrived two days late.
What is this garbage?
The official sub sandwich fanchise of Hexbear is Jersey Mike's because they pay comrade Danny DeVito to endorse them
Yeah I eat at the one near my work sometimes and the sandwiches are okay, but all the shit on the walls is off-putting as fuck
Jimmy John's bread is so terrible my body doesn't know how to process it. Their meats are low energy and not very good. Their vegetables taste like they were grown in cardboard.
now I may be a simple country bleach demon, but I have never had the caucacity to want anything from any of these bland sandwich places yet they still reach out and attack me
