Burner account but I swear I'm a real person here. Hopefully I don't thoroughly dox myself but I'm in my thirties and have, for the first time, been forced to use the dating apps. I hate them. However, I (a cis guy) matched with a vegan, communist (based on profile) woman around my age and now I'm banging my head against a wall trying to think of like how to start a convo? I'm so old and stupid, irl I'm not really that worried about meeting people but this is messing with me.
Edit: to clarify, I am also a vegan communist
Speak to her in the sexiest accent known to man, Italian. Here, I'll give you some basic sayings.
"HELLO! IT'S-A ME, MARIO!" Translation: "Hello. How are you this fine day?"
"OOOOOH MAMA MIAAAAA!" Translation: "That is not good."
"YA, WAH, YAHOOOOO!" Translation: "I find you attractive and wish to have sexual relations"
*THANK YOU SO MUCH-A FOR TO PLAYING MY GAME!" Translation: "Thank you for the sexual relations."
Don't forget to say goodbye with
"SO LONG GAY BOWSER"
I definitely think I can incorporate more "YAHOOOO"s into my life
God dammit im at this show and just burst out laughing and fuckin everybody looked at me :ooooooooooooooh:
"BWIPP BWIPP BWIPP!" Translation: "I am aroused."