Got anything cool going on you want to talk about? Or maybe things haven't been so great? This is your spot to vent, unwind, whatever. Remember, you are loved :stalin-heart:
For me.....fuck where do I start? Working on opening up my relationship with the fiance a little. Initial talks on Monday were scary as fuck, but things seem positive. They have history with poly/ENM stuff whereas I do not, so letting them take the lead and I'm not saying anything again until asked to. Also started therapy yesterday! On the down side, I had a blunt talk with a close friend I've been crushing on for years, and I was rejected (for now). But, that puts some feelings to rest, so its kind of a good thing I guess?
Worst part is, we did not get to see Evil Dead. Gonna try and go tonight. One last good thing - I'm not being as drunkenly unhealthy this week since the news of my BP2 diagnosis has blunted a little.
sometimes good things happen! this isnt the matrix where everything is pre-destined, sometimes things happen in this horrible world that are nice and work out.
One of my bosses is an idiot and was trying to get me to do something illegal and I snitched on him. I'm not trying to get fired because you're a lazy fuck. I'm really anxious about it.
I haven't been practicing enough lately, which is like my whole personality so I'm kind of lost. but i have been playing a game with my friends so thats nice :)
Good luck, hope none of the work situation bites you! Glad to hear you've been with friends!
I got flirted with in the gym and was too startled and tired to even register it :deeper-sadness:
Comrade, the only time I've ever been clear someone was flirting with me IN MY LIFE is when they grabbed me after a show, told me "you looked so hot on stage" and stuck their tongue down my throat.
I am in my 30s and this only happened a year ago.
You ain't alone there, thats for goddamn sure.
I blame god for making me both dummy thic and just a regular dummy.
I'm slowly processing and accepting that a close friendship has likely ended. It sucks, but it was plenty proof that I'm right about needing to get help. I'm afraid of jeopardizing other friendships and relationships, so I'm trying to mentally take a step back and examine my behavior.
On the way home from work yesterday I spoke out loud in my car for the first time ever. I just trauma dumped in a solitary space and it felt good. Like I know what I should say to a therapist that I haven't said before.
Glad you were able to work that out. Sorry about your friend. I've been finding myself cutting people off as well too :meow-hug:
Thanks, buddy. It's making me evaluate my other friendships and how they're working for me. I haven't really taken care of myself or my goals and I think I was unconsciously projecting that outward in unhealthy ways. I'm going to talk to a professional soon, so I'm hoping I can be honest with them.
I was honest as fuck even on my intake questions yesterday, and it felt nice. Hope you're able to capture that same feeling I got <3
That's hard, but good for you! Having that self reflection is a huge step to making big changes. You can do it comrade :soviet-heart:
I really liked wellbutrin for the past month I was on it! Off it now to see if maybe it was messing with my bipolar, but dopamine good.
I’ve been on it for over a year now, it’s really great at first but then you acclimate and come back down to normal, but you know, without the suicidal thoughts
I got a new spicy friend and it's been great. They've been super patient and kind and I'm looking forward to going out with them to queer events.
I'm being reviewed by someone I really look up to in my field.
And finally- two people who stalked/harassed me and several others for years got taken to court. I just found out that they impersonated a lawyer in an attempt to get personal info on one of the witnesses. Their careers (lives) are about to be wrecked and I am so relieved that they won't be able to drive people to suicide anymore.
On the other hand I wish we had a saner justice system, because they're awful, but sick. They need a time out and mental health treatment in an ikea prison. I am not happy about how this could turn out.
Hell yeah! Any tips on finding spicy friends? Good luck on the review!
I got lucky on grinder. We hit it off during a date. He's an experienced older guy and he was really clear with his wants/needs and we talked out our boundaries.
Find someone with good communication skills, is attractive to you, but different enough that they're not someone you'd want to partner with full time. If you're kinky, looking into a local munch is a good start.
"I'm going to put on a sweatshirt, it's not quite so beautiful yet" -comrade at the land project I'm on
We made a whole bunch of vegan food yesterday before getting high
Working on opening up my relationship with the fiance a little.
Related: my partner and I recently talked about some kinks we have. It's going to be a fun weekend.
:avoheart:
I'm glad you got some answers with your crush. I'm sorry it didn't go the way you hoped, but I'm proud of you for saying something.
And I hope you enjoy Evil Dead!
Thanks! It wasn't an outright no, it was more of an "I can think of more reasons right now that we shouldn't, than we should, so I am going to say no for now." So like....maybe someday? I dunno. But I'm definitely dwelling on it a HELL of a lot less, which feels more healthy. At least I'm not
spoiler (drug abuse mention)
snorting my brain meds and drinking in the street this week
Oh okay. This friend sounds pretty cool and I'm glad you're feeling healthier!
(drug abuse mention)
I'm also reflecting on my substance abuse to cope and I hope I can stay within healthy boundaries.
If you want an accountability buddy, happy to check in with you from time to time!
I have a date in a couple weeks with a girl I matched with on OKCupid. We chatted on the phone for a bit and I was really put off by her at first since she was just talking about herself a lot, but I was able to recognize a bit of nervousness on her part and she grew on me a little, so we'll see what happens. I feel a little guilty for thinking this way, but I mostly view this as practice, jumping in the deep end, figuring out some stuff about myself first and foremost.
Also yesterday I went to my dispensary and got 3/8 oz of some fantastic shit for $90, plus a goodie bag with like $40 more worth of weed stuff (joint, gram, edibles) for being among the first 100 customers.
Also I am getting over some sleep issues (I hope) and coming out of a really nasty depressive slump. Those are getting shorter and shorter now. Back to writing, and getting closer to actually hammering out a completed draft of my story at some point. I better. I have to put together a portfolio for my creative writing class. So far I have "discount necromancer MacGyvers solution to catch unexpected Lovecraftian demon, gets stiffed on his bill" and "man tears self apart, uses pieces to build better self that eats him and starts the cycle over" and need to finish "anxious bug person needs job from crotchety old goblin, helps overcome sky pirates to smuggle weapons to indigenous resistance"
Im scrambling to get a bunch of shit done and I'm not confident in getting any of it done.
