Especially for women, too little vulnerability is seen as "frigid" or (misogynist slurs), and too much vulnerability is seen as "hysterical" or (misogynist slurs). :debord-tired:
unironically i do feel like i 'fake it' because i have to modulate so much in order for even doctors to take me seriously about an event that undeniably happened and has records for hospital visits. i hate having to tone myself down or tone myself up when im freaking out. lets not even get into the psychological impact of feeling like you have imposter syndrome over extreme violence being inflicted on you
A lot of that "faking" may well be disassociation, where it's a real feeling that isn't quite "felt" at a cognitive level all the while even while it's there. I don't know your situation or what resources you have available, but emotions can get really weird and hard to place, especially after trauma. :meow-hug:
Especially for women, too little vulnerability is seen as "frigid" or (misogynist slurs), and too much vulnerability is seen as "hysterical" or (misogynist slurs). :debord-tired:
unironically i do feel like i 'fake it' because i have to modulate so much in order for even doctors to take me seriously about an event that undeniably happened and has records for hospital visits. i hate having to tone myself down or tone myself up when im freaking out. lets not even get into the psychological impact of feeling like you have imposter syndrome over extreme violence being inflicted on you
A lot of that "faking" may well be disassociation, where it's a real feeling that isn't quite "felt" at a cognitive level all the while even while it's there. I don't know your situation or what resources you have available, but emotions can get really weird and hard to place, especially after trauma. :meow-hug:
oh yeah the disassociation is really up there and is multifaceted. my brain is swiss cheese, i have resigned my life to bimbodom :ohnoes: