Getting addicted to opiates in my senior year of high school because I believed I was built different and wouldn't get addicted.
I was extremely clinically depressed and none of the dozen different SSRI/SNRIs I had been prescribed did jack shit. Then my dentist prescribed me Hydrocodone after I had my wisdom teeth removed. When I took them for the first time it was like a switch flipped, my depression and social anxiety instantly melted away. I became out going and a much more dedicated student. I literally felt as though I had found the answer to everything. So when my prescription ran out, I sought out more opiates to use them as anti-depressants. I told myself I would never use them just to get high until I did. I told myself I'd never increase the dose or switch to a stronger opiate until I did.
After a few months of what I like to call the opioid honey moon phase, it all falls apart. Eventually your tolerance builds up to a point where you are no longer even getting high, but regardless you need to keep taking them or you'll get sick. It feels like the worst flu you've ever had times 10. This leads to chasing the dragon, rapidly increasing your dose in a vain attempt to recreate the first few highs. It always feels like a little bit more will get you there, but it never does. Each successive dose increase makes it nigh impossible to go back down to a lower dose without withdrawals, and it makes the withdrawals themselves even worse and longer lasting.
My experience has been exactly that, and it catastrophically derailed my life. I'm a few years clean now thanks to buprenorphine, and I still haven't fully recovered from this.
Getting addicted to opiates in my senior year of high school because I believed I was built different and wouldn't get addicted.
I was extremely clinically depressed and none of the dozen different SSRI/SNRIs I had been prescribed did jack shit. Then my dentist prescribed me Hydrocodone after I had my wisdom teeth removed. When I took them for the first time it was like a switch flipped, my depression and social anxiety instantly melted away. I became out going and a much more dedicated student. I literally felt as though I had found the answer to everything. So when my prescription ran out, I sought out more opiates to use them as anti-depressants. I told myself I would never use them just to get high until I did. I told myself I'd never increase the dose or switch to a stronger opiate until I did.
After a few months of what I like to call the opioid honey moon phase, it all falls apart. Eventually your tolerance builds up to a point where you are no longer even getting high, but regardless you need to keep taking them or you'll get sick. It feels like the worst flu you've ever had times 10. This leads to chasing the dragon, rapidly increasing your dose in a vain attempt to recreate the first few highs. It always feels like a little bit more will get you there, but it never does. Each successive dose increase makes it nigh impossible to go back down to a lower dose without withdrawals, and it makes the withdrawals themselves even worse and longer lasting.
My experience has been exactly that, and it catastrophically derailed my life. I'm a few years clean now thanks to buprenorphine, and I still haven't fully recovered from this.
glad you made it out of the pit alive, comrade :soviet-heart:
Tianeptine addict here. Solidarity. I still vividly remember the withdrawl feelings a few years later. Ghastly.
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