She started showing up when I was around 16 (late 30s now.) I only see her like twice a year but every time I do the dreams are so intense I spend the next day in that sort of distorted state where I can't quite shake how real it was. Every time I see her I recognize her instantly in my dreams and we have such an overwhelming connection, stronger then I've ever experienced in real life. She feels right, like a mythical soulmate.
I've felt since the first time I saw her that she's a real person. She's beautiful but like real person beautiful not Hollywood, and she's aged along with me. I can't shake the feeling the that I'm supposed to find her, like our souls are connected from some past life. I of course have no idea how so in a couple of days she'll fade to the back of my mind again, showing up only in stray thoughts till she pops up in my dreams again months later.
Idk I'm just a little worked up today and wanted to share with people who might not think I'm crazy.
I once fell in love in a dream. The details were as hazy and dreamlike as you'd expect, I doubt I ever really had a grasp on them, but I remember meeting someone, spending time with her, getting to know one another, and having the feeling of forming a genuine bond.
What really sticks in my mind is the memory of walking her to a subway station so she could catch a train back to her place. I think we lived in Toronto, and it was autumn, leaves falling and slight chill in the air kind of thing. I hugged her, she got on the train, I turned to walk home not thinking much of it because it was all quite mundane, but then it all sort of faded away and I woke up. The realization that it was a dream was genuinely devastating. It made me sad for days. Even 20 years later, happily married with a family, I still occasionally think about it.
It would be easy enough to assume that it was the result of some unusual combination neurotransmitters and brain cells firing, but it was as real to me as anything. Whether there's anything else going on is up for speculation, but I guess what I would want you to know is that you're probably not alone in this kind of experience.
I hope you find her.
I just remembered I had this happen to me. I woke up crying because she was gone. I was in a funk for days.
Wow sorry that you got so worked up about it, I had a similar experience starting 20 years ago and ending about 8 years ago when i started to transition. I did some additional workings specifically to interact with the dreamed person, tarot, scrying, meditation, and shadow work which brought me to the realization that the person i was dreaming was me.
Not to say that is what you are experiencing rather to relate on the power of such an intense, and frankly, intimate dream experience. Unsure of what else you use in your practice but maybe utilizing other tools, techniques, etc. to try and learn more and develop the connection. May also be a good reason to try and develop lucid dreaming. Thanks for posting I've never heard of someone having a recurring intense dream that was more positive slanted involving a person so wanted to comment.
I read the cards so rarely and I'm so it of sorts I hadn't even thought of that. I've explored my gender enough I'm fairly sure she isn't some hidden self but it is really cool that you were able to meet your true self that way.
I feel like you should write about her in a story. It might make her more real, in a way.
And if you believe in that sort of thing, maybe that's how she might find you.
One of the Jungian archetypes is the anima. She is the repressed feminine aspect of a person whose masculine aspect is dominant (meaning in control of the conscious, not meaning aggressive). She is typically encountered first during the late teens and early twenties in dreams.
I don’t know how much stock you want to put into Jungian psychoanalysis, but from this perspective, there’s a good reason that you recognize her so quickly, why she’s aged along with you, why you feel as if your souls are connected, and why she fades back into your mind. It’s that she’s part of your unconscious. Not part of your ego, but still part of you.
For what it’s worth, I’ve met mine many times. Similar to you, it’s always very intense, and feels spiritually significant despite me not being a very spiritual person. It’s kind of like seeing an old friend, just bumped up to the emotional intensity of a relationship in the honeymoon stage.
I’d be curious to know how Jung viewed Trans issues though my instinct is that he’d dismiss it as enantiodroma and overfixation on gender personas. Probably the reason why I stopped reading his stuff
I have never irl felt the kind of intense and overwhelming romantic love that I have felt in dreams. I've only had those dreams 3 times in my life and I'm not young, so they're super rare. The first time was more than 20 years ago though. Each time, when I woke up, I was horrified that it was only a dream and I had "lost" the person I loved. I literally cried. It was like I had to go through the mourning process for days or even weeks after the dream, having to accept that it wasn't actually real. I never felt like it was a person I had to find irl so much as like it was a memory from a past life I'll never live again. I don't actually believe in past lives, but that's how it felt.
this was how I discovered I was trans. I came to realize she was just me. I didn't want to fuck her. I idolized her and wanted to literally be her. so I made it happen. YMMV
