As far as summer blockbusters go, “Indiana Jones” just got beat up by a doll dressed in pink. That’s right—the “Barbie” movie has become the hit of the summer.

“Come on Barbie, let’s go party!”

Hollywood was desperate for a win this summer, and thanks to a viral TikTok campaign, Barbie had an impressive opening weekend. Twelve year-old girls and their mothers flocked to the theater to escape the heat and see Barbie give Ken, her plastic boyfriend, the cold shoulder.

Barbie always had a ‘problematic’ side according to the feminists. How dare little girls cherish a doll that they could accessorize with endless fashion outfits and multiple careers? Lawyer Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Marine Biologist Barbie…Barbie could be and do anything imaginable. What’s wrong with that?

It’s boring, that’s what! Woke Hollywood wanted a completely revamped Barbie for 2023.

So now we have Antifa Barbie, Depressed Barbie, Stripper Barbie, Eating Disorder Barbie, and of course, Trans Barbie, who makes a special appearance in the “Barbie” Movie. Can’t have a hit movie these days without some rainbow and trans-whatever propaganda shoved into it.

We almost forgot, Abortionist Barbie. The movie cleverly sticks that nugget in with a scene of little girls bashing their baby doll’s heads into rocks, singing ‘we don’t have to be mothers anymore.’ Subtle.

And sick.

We don’t want to give away any spoilers, but we don’t think our audience is going to flock to see this pink nightmare (sorry Ralphie). However, you can be sure the normies will.

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The “Barbie” movie is one long TikTok video of the pink police state saying all men are bad. There, I just saved you $15 dollars.

You’re welcome.

—Tina

  • Rom [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Conservatives are the only ones fighting the culture war and they're losing it lmao.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Example 5,000 of trans people living rent free in reactionaries heads. It'd almost be comical if they didn't murder trans people.

  • GayTuckerCarlson [none/use name]
    ·
    1 year ago

    At first I was mad Ben brought in a woman to do the art, but then I calmed down when I realized it wasn't woke, just nepotism

  • Infamousblt [any]
    ·
    1 year ago

    If this film is even a quarter as based as the right wing says it is, it sounds amazing. Are they freaking out over nothing as usual or is this film actually based?

    • viva_la_juche [they/them, any]
      ·
      1 year ago

      It’s as good as an entertainment product made by corporations could be id say. It isn’t revolutionary, it’s a good starting point for having a conversation about feminism. I’d like it to have gone further but I’m not surprised it didn’t.

      Personally, I think it actually does a better job of critiquing misogyny in media more than it does in society as a whole they way it frames men in the film bc the way it did seems to have made a lot of dudes really uncomfortable and like idk maybe they should have a think on that lol

    • heartheartbreak [fae/faer]
      ·
      1 year ago

      The movie is a nonsense goofy movie that has no real themes w a veneer of girl power. The discourse is shadowboxing

  • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    bulge

    They simply cannot help themselves, man or woman, all these right wingers are just absolutely fixated on cock, and not even in a fun way.

  • Wheaties [comrade/them]
    ·
    1 year ago

    something about Barbie's face looks different from the rest of it. Did Ben do that bit?

    also, realistic beer can, half-blended into the composition with a nice thick outline. Like finding a Duracell battery in pikmin

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]
      ·
      1 year ago

      something about Barbie's face looks different from the rest of it. Did Ben do that bit?

      i guess it comes from the heart bc she's just really familiar with the facial expression of a woman super pissed off at her spouse

  • regul [any]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I must have missed Antifa Barbie.

  • emizeko [they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    her commentary text is so repulsive I can't even fisk it

  • AcidSmiley [she/her]
    ·
    1 year ago

    lol even his wife can't help but draw Ken's face and hair like the gigachad Trump that Garrison always does

  • SoyViking [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    So, does this imply that Trump is based for wanting to fuck trans AOC?