I'm 27 personally, and haven't been in any sort of romantic relationship or even kissed on the lips.

Now I'm at the point where I wanna wait til' I have my own place before I make any serious attempt at it, cuz I don't want to be judged for still living at home (Don't have a high enough income to move out).

I feel like once I seriously try though, I'll find someone eventually. I at least have that much confidence and self-esteem to know that I'm not unfuckable or anything like that.

  • Irockasingranite [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I agree with you.

    I only really meant to talk purely about the sex, because the chain I replied to was specifically about "ticking the box" by hiring a sex worker. Which I feel inherently already assumes a view of sex as an isolated action that someone really can just "not have done".

    In the broader context you are absolutely right, though. Human connection, or the lack of it, is something can change you as a person (but doesn't have to). At the same time whether or not you experience that kind of connection should not be constructed into some kind of identity (that way incel shit lies).

    • coomsockrates [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      something that can change you as a person (but doesnt have to)

      Here is where I disagree again, if we could somehow control our subconscious (or whatever aspect of our brain it is), then stuff like solitary confinement wouldnt be an issue. I am not talking about sex here in terms of human connection mind you, being isolated from any human interaction has been proven [i dont have the citation on me rn] to cause real psychological harm, whether the person wants it to or not.
      If you can personally control that response to isolation yourself, then thats great, unfortunately the vast majority of people cannot.

      Thats why I find progressive leftism likable as a movement, since it recognizes this and a part of it is just building stronger communities online and offline to help fight back against the systems which cause such alienation in the first place.

      Edit: clarity

      • Irockasingranite [she/her]
        ·
        4 years ago

        There's a difference between human interaction in general and a relationship, which I thought we were talking about here. Cutting someone off from all human contact obviously damages that person, but plenty of people live perfectly normally without being in a relationship, some without ever being in one.

        • coomsockrates [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Human connection, or the lack of it, is something can change you as a person (but doesn’t have to).

          You

          There’s a difference between human interaction in general and a relationship, which I thought we were talking about here

          Also you

          We are clearly not talking about realtionships, I thought I made this crystal clear by saying:

          I am not talking about sex here in terms of human connection mind you, being isolated from any human interaction has been proven [i dont have the citation on me rn] to cause real psychological harm, whether the person wants it to or not.

          Be clearer next time by what you mean by "human connection", you just effectively strawmanned my position into something twisted and morally bankrupt.

          I dont hold this against you, mods must have a tough job fighting against the various reactionaries hungry to destroy this site. I think we agree with each other but are just arguing out of habit at this point lol